Never Let Me Go
by Kanon Anderson
Summary: She pushed herself further into the corner, trying to hide in the shadows she so desperately sought. A young teenager in a mental institution is raped, but did it really happen?
1. Chapter 1

Never Let Me Go

Night fell over the hospital, the moon and street lights casting shadows down the darkened halls. Lights flickered, then dimmed with a soft click as they were extinguished for the night.

Nervous green eyes flicked towards the window, looking, listening for any signs of movement. She could hear the sounds of the others in their rooms, some moaning, others muttering unintelligible words. She pushed herself further into the corner, trying to hide in the shadows she so desperately sought. She heard the night nurse walk back, the rubber of her sneakers squeaking, the sound bouncing off the walls.  
She began to relax, then felt her blood turn cold when she heard it. The sound of something hitting the wall. She shut her eyes and put her hands over her ears, rocking back and forth, back and forth.

She tried to scream as the window was pushed open. She tried to run, but the door was locked. She tried to hit him, but the drugs only slowed her actions. She clawed at the floor as she was dragged to her bed and thrown on her stomach, her wrists tied with a soft material to prevent any bruising. She felt his first thrust and tried to scream, tears falling down her face. He wasn't rough, like she had first expected.

She didn't know when he had finished; the drugs had knocked her out halfway through. She only knew that when he was gone, she was in the corner of her room, curled up in a ball, her red hair hanging in her face, like he had never been there.

Screams echoed down the hall, mixing with the squeak of white nurse's sneakers and mumblings of the wandering patients the two detectives passed. "This place is like a bad horror movie," Detective Elliot Stable muttered to his partner, Detective Olivia Benson. She nodded, a feeling of unease settling over her as the neared the origin of the screams.

"What happened," Elliot asked, showing his badge to a nurse that stood outside the door. Olivia looked in and saw a team of nurses fighting a teenager on the bed. The girl screamed and kicked as they struggled to fit thick straps around her wrists. Her face was red, tears falling down her face. With her stringy red hair and bright red face, she looked like a banshee.

"She's screaming that she's been raped," one of the nurses said, "She's been fighting off anyone that's tried to get near her."

"Have you tried talking to her," Elliot asked. He glanced over his shoulder and saw his partner watching with a forlorn look in her eyes.

"Yes," the nurse said, "I went in to give her the morning meds and she started screaming. She even tried to bite me." She held out her arm, where bruises from what he assumed to be the teenager stood out.

"What's her name," Olivia asked, looking at the nurse. She wanted to interfere, but knew that she'd only get in the way.

"Emma Hayes," the nurse said, "Admitted for depression and beginning stages of schizophrenia last month."

A shriek caught the attention of the detectives and they turned to see one of the attendants administer an epidural. With a gasp, the girl's body went rigged, then fell to the bed. "What did you give her," the nurse asked, pushing past the attendants.

"50 cc's of Fluphenazine," the attendant responded. "Won't knock her out, but she'll be calmer." The nurse nodded, seeming to approve of the medication that had been administered. The detectives slowly entered the room as the nurse took her vitals and checked her blood pressure.

"She's awake," the nurse said, "You can try and talk to her. Not sure if you'll get anything out of her."

"Can you do a rape kit on her," Elliot asked as his partner pulled a chair near the bed. The nurse nodded and left, leaving the detectives with the teenager.

"Emma," Olivia said softly, "I'm Detective Benson. Can you hear me?"

The teenager nodded, her eyes struggling to focus on the world around her. "We're hear about what happened last night," Olivia said, "Is there anything you can tell us?"

"I…w..was r-r-raped," she stammered out. She turned her head to the detectives, her eyes glassy from the medication. She focused on Olivia, then Elliot. Her eyes widened and she began to fight the restraints, trying to get away from him. His eyes met Olivia's and he nodded, exiting the room to wait in the hallway. "P…Please, let me go."

"I can't," Olivia said. "Why did you try to attack the men that entered the room?"

"I…thought th-they were here to rape me." Her eyes bounced around the room, moving from Olivia, to the wall, to the window. Olivia recognized it as signs of the medication coursing through her body.

"The nurse is going to do a rape kit on you," Olivia said, "If you don't fight her, she might take the restraints off." Emma didn't respond to her, her body relaxing against the thin mattress. Olivia knew she didn't have much time before the girl was asleep. "Emma, I need you tell me whatever you can about the person that tried to rape you."

"He came in…through the window," she said, her eyes slipping shut, "He looked…he looked like an…an angel." Her face went slack and her breathing slowed as she fell asleep.

Olivia reached out and pulled the covers over the sleeping teenager before standing up. With one last sad look, she walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

"What did she say," Elliot asked as they walked out of the hospital.

"She said that he came in through the window," she said, "And he looked like an angel." Her eyes met his raised ones as she climbed into the car ahead of him.

"Olivia Benson." She looked up as her name was called across the office and spotted Alexei Reikovski walking towards her. She could tell by the look on his face that

"Alex, how are you," she asked, standing up to hug him.

"Good," he said, "I didn't know you had been assigned to Emma Hayes' case."

"We just got it this morning," she said, "I didn't know you were working at the hospital."

"Just started," he said, "I wanted to come talk to you…about Emma's situation." She nodded and lead him to an interrogation room, where they sat down.

"Did the rape kit turn anything up," she asked, sitting down across from him.

"The hospital has it right now," he said, "We should get the results back later today." She nodded, sensing there was more he wanted to discuss. "I heard about what happened this morning. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Is she normally like that," she asked.

"It's been happening more and more," he said, "She was fine when we got her about a month ago. She was on her meds, the depression seemed to be subsiding and then all of a sudden, she's more violent and we've had to keep her sedated to keep her from harming herself or one of the attendants."

"What do you think has brought on this change," Olivia asked, leaning her elbows on the table. "Has she been raped before?"

"I think she's been raped before by the same person," he said. "The thing is though, when the nurse checked her this morning, she didn't find any bruising.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Here's the next chapter! Thanks for the great reviews on the last one...I'm still feeling my way through this one. Let me know what you think should happen :)

She raised her eyebrow, not sure of what to say next. More and more things weren't adding up in this case. "That doesn't mean she wasn't raped," Olivia said softly, "Alex, be honest with me here. There's something you're not telling me."

"Olivia, her mother…there's a history of schizophrenia in her family," he said. "I just…I'm not fully convinced that she hasn't made this up."

"Why would she fake it," Olivia asked, surprised at his change in attitude.

"In the mind of a schizophrenic, it's hard to distinguish what's real and what's not," he said, "She may really believe she's being raped by a man with wings, but in reality…our reality, she may not be."

"Have you found any evidence that she's schizophrenic?" She leaned back, her arms crossed across her chest.

"We're watching for the symptoms," he said, "I just…what's worse? Being raped, or having your mind tear you apart, making you believe that you're being raped."

"I don't know," she said, running her hands through her hair.

Elliot looked up as Olivia walked out, followed by a tall man with dark hair and startling blue eyes. He saw her hug him, then watched as he walked out the door. "Who's that," he asked, leaning back, arms crossed over his chest.

"A friend," she said, deflecting the question, "He's the doctor overseeing Emma."

"He shed anymore insight into her case," he asked.

"Her mother was schizophrenic," she said, "Alex's afraid that her attack might be part of a delusion."

"Do you think that," he asked.

"I don't know what to think," she said, "They're watching her for signs of it developing in her. I'm still waiting to hear back on the rape kit.Hopefully, that'll turn up something that makes it real." He nodded, hearing the finality of hope in her voice.

She knocked softly before entering the room, Emma's dull green eyes looking up to meet her eyes before sliding back to look out the window. A cold, grey snow covered the city. "Emma, do you remember me," Olivia asked softly. She was unrestrained and sat quietly on the bed, her back to the wall, her eyes watching the snow drift down slowly outside the window.

"Detective Olivia Benson," she replied automatically.

"Yeah," she said with a soft smile, "You can call me Olivia though, if that's easier." Emma nodded slightly, showing that she had heard the older woman, but didn't turn to meet her eyes. "How are you feeling today?"

"Alright," the girl said, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm still medicated."

"That's okay," Olivia said, giving her a soft smile. "It's understandable, after what happened."

"You believe me…don't you?" The girl looked over at her and Olivia felt a sharp pang in her heart when she saw a small spark of hope in the girl's eyes.

"I don't have any reason to not belive you," Olivia said, "I was wondering if you were up to telling me more about what happened that night."

"I was raped," she said, "By a man that looked like he had wings."

"You said he came in through the window," Olivia said, "Do you know how?"

"No," the girl said, "There was this sound…like something hitting the wall, then he slit the screen." Olivia stood up and walked over to examine the screen. There wasn't a cut in it. "I know…there's not a cut."

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen," she said, sitting back down in the chair. "I'm going to have some officers come over and look this place over. Are you okay with that?" She nodded again, her eyes never leaving the windows.

"He told you about my mother, didn't he." The way she phrased it, it came out as more of a statement, than a question.

"Yes," she said, "But, that doesn't mean you'll inherit it."

"How would you know?" She watched as Emma turned to her, her lifeless eyes hooking on hers.

"Because my father raped my mother and I don't want to rape anyone. I help fight rapists and bring them to justice, instead."

"But, you're able to see what you're fighting," Emma said, "How do you fight something that you can't see?"

"I don't know," Olivia said truthfully, "But, I'll help you figure it out." Emma nodded and turned back to the window once more. Olivia sat with her for a few minutes, then left. If Emma noticed her leaving, she didn't seem to indicate it.

She walked out into the falling snow and turned back to the building, her eyes looking back up at the building. The building was old, looking like it had been built in the 1930s, with red brick and white windows that desperately needed to be painted. But, what caught her eye was the ledge below Emma's room. Chunks of concrete were missing and although it was common to see long pieces of rope hanging between buildings for laundry, only one connected between the hospital and the ledge just about Emma's room. A tight black rope angling down from the building next door.Pulling out her radio, she contacted the police station. Emma's rapist had just become more real.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long...got caught up in writing. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. I'm smelling romance coming up...maybe E/O, maybe not...:) Let me know what you think!

It was early in the morning when Olivia and Elliot arrived at the hospital. CSU began to spread out, looking for any signs of evidence.Olivia went straight upstairs with one of the teams and motioned for them to stay outside of Emma's room while she went in to talk to her. Like the day before, she was sitting on her bed, her eyes looking out the window, a blank expression on her face. "Hello Emma," Olivia said softly, not wanting to startle the girl.

"Hello Olivia." She turned to the detective, her eyes focusing on the floor, slowly wandering up to meet Olivia's.

"I brought that team I told you about. They need to search the room. Alex said we could go down the hall, to another room, so they don't disturb you. Is that okay?" Emma nodded slowly, standing up. Olivia smiled gently at her, then lead her down the hall, signaling for the team to enter.

With a nod, the team entered a fanned out, black lighting the sheets, dusting for prints and doing everything they could to prove the rapist was real.

They sat down at a table in the small lounge and Emma reachedfor reaching for a box ofcolored pencils and a pad that had been left behind. "Do you like to draw," Olivia asked, watching her beginning to sketch. She took a piece of paper from the pad and began to draw as well. She thought that maybe if she could get the girl to connect to her, it'd make it easier to get her to talk.

"I liked art class. I wish I could go back," she said, tucking a piece of stringy hair behind her ear, then continued to draw.

"How long has it been since you've been out of school," Olivia asked, reaching for a blue pencil.

"A year," Emma replied, "They bring in a tutor…but no one to teach art." She reached for the red pencil, gently tracing out the design of a butterfly.

"If you get better, maybe you can go back to school," Olivia said, trying to encourage the girl. She noticed that the teen seemed more stable then past couple of times she had visited her. She was able to focus on one thing and her movements were less nervous.

"I doubt it. All I want is to get out of here." Olivia raised her eyebrow and paused for a moment, studying the teen closely. It was the first sentence the girl had said with any feeling behind it.

"Emma, if you work with me, maybe we can get you out of here."

"Do you promise?" She looked up and Olivia saw the desperation in the girl's voice and in her eyes. It seemed like she had come out of the fog she had been in and was finally realizing the world she was really in- one that she desperately hid from.

"I promise that I will do my best to get you out of here," Olivia said gently. The girl gave a soft smile, then turned back to her picture, finishing the drawing then handing it Olivia.

"Wow," she said, taking the picture. "This is great. Can I take it with me?"

"Yeah," Emma said with a nod, reaching for another piece of paper. She reached for the black pencil and began to outline the image of a face.

"What're you drawing now," Olivia asked, watching the girl concentrate on the drawing.

"The man who attacked me," she said softly, "I…I keep seeing his face, when I sleep and I just…maybe if I draw it, it'll help."

"It might help us too," Olivia said. She was glad it wouldn't take any propting from the girl to get a sketch- the last thing she wanted to do was break her."Emma, do you have nightmares, from what happened?"

"Yeah." Her voice was so soft that Olivia strained to hear her.

"Do you have someone to talk to?"

"I talk to Alex some, but I don't know what to say."

"You can tell him about what happened. You can trust him. Besides, I'm sure there's a psychologist on staff," Olivia said.

"He scares me," she said, her voice softing even more, "And everytime I talk to him, I'm just put on more medication. I'm tried to being medicated." She paused her drawing and looked around as if she expected someone to be watching her. For a moment, Olivia wondered if the medication or disease made her paranoid.

"I bet you are," she said finally, "Look Emma, I have a friend...I can bring him in and have you talk to him. I think it might help if you had someone to talk to."

"It's a him," Emma asked, reaching for another pencil.

"Yeah," Olivia said, "But, he's a good friend of mine. I talk to him about things all the time. You can trust him."

"Would you be here…with me," she asked, glancing up.

"I can try to be," Olivia said. She looked down at her hands, then back up at Emma, who was still concentrating on her picture. She felt the familiar pang in her heart when she looked at the girl; one that she felt whenever she got close to a child that had been hurt. She was getting to close and she knew that Emma would be hurt if she couldn't keep her promise.

She was relieved when she saw Emma nod, setting the pencil aside and handing the drawing to Olivia. She raised her eyebrows as she looked at the picture of masked man with sharp wing shaped objects coming off his shoulders. A mask covered his face, but what stood out was the brightness of his eyes. She had used the green pencil to shade in the eyes. "The therapists eyes…they remind me of his," she whispered, seeing Olivia concentrate on the feature in the drawing that had color.

"Well, Dr. Huang is Asian," she said, "You won't have to worry about that. I'm going to take this with me. We might be able to use this to find him."

Emma nodded, her eyes moving to the doorway, where an officer entered. Her back stiffened and she scooted back from the table, her eyes widening in fear. "It's okay," Olivia said softly, "He won't hurt you." Emma nodded and she relaxed some, but still remained pushed away from the table.

"We finished searching the room, detective," the officer said, keeping his distance from the table,"We didn't find much. Just some dirt near the window sill, but we don't know if that's from the perp. We collected it in case."

"Thanks," Olivia said, "Have you checked in with the outside crew?"

"They were searching through the dumpster and the building the rope was coming from," he said. "But, they had nothing to report thus far. I'll keep you updated. We should be done soon."

"Alright," Olivia said. The officer nodded, then left, allowing Olivia to walk Emma back to her room. "Emma, you still have my card, right?"

"Yeah," Emma said, opening her drawer and taking it out.

"Call me, if you need to talk or if anything else happens," Olivia said, "Don't be afraid to. Okay?"

Emma nodded, smiling slightly. It was the first smile Olivia had seen from her since she had met her. "I've got to go check in with the officers, but I'll be by in a few days with Dr. Huang. Until then, just work on getting better and if anything happens, call me." Emma nodded again, watching as Olivia put her coat on, then left the room.

"We found the screen outside, in the dumpster," Elliot said, walking up to Olivia as she walked out of the building. "We figured it was the one that belonged to Emma's room because of the slice through the middle of it. It's beingdusted for prints."

"What about the adjacent building," she asked, slipping on her gloves.

"We didn't find anything, but it's still being dusted as well," he said, "How's Emma doing?"

"Better," she said, "She wasn't on the heavy medication today." She fished through her pocket and pulled out the drawing. "She drew this." He opened and studied it with a raised eyebrow. "We might want to talk to the therapist. She said her rapist and him have the same eyes. Also, he might be able to give us a better idea of her medicalhistory." She nodded and lead him back inside, towards the therapists office.

"What sort of information do you need. I can't give out much of her history without her permission," Dr. Andrew Williams said, shutting his file cabinet and sitting down across from the detectives.

"Has she suffered from delusions before," Elliot asked, rubbing his forehead out of frustration. "We're just trying to help establish whether or not she was really raped."

"I can tell you that up until about a month ago, she became very skittish around others. She didn't sleep at night and bruises began to appear on her wrists," Dr. Williams said, "It's not uncommon for the patients to be restrained, but she hasn't been violent before. She's always been calmed through medication."

"How much medication is she on," Olivia asked.

"We have her on Percoset and small doses of Fluphenazine," he said, "Not more than others with her condition."

"When did you start treating her?" She walked around the office, looking at the various awards and degrees that covered the walls.

"I meet with all of the patients when they arrive, for an initial diagnosis," he said, "With Emma, I started meeting with her twice a week."

"In that time, did you ever come on to her?" She turned, arms crossed as she met the doctor's eyes.

"What," he asked, standing up, "I would never!" He stood up and began to pace, his manner becoming more agitated.

"She gave us a picture of the man that attacked her. His eyes matched yours."

"There are a lot of men with green eyes," he insisted. "Did she say I attacked her?"

"No," Elliot said, "But we do need to check out all possibilities."

"In my five years here, I have never done anything to harm a patient," Dr. Williams said.

"I'm sure you're right," Elliot said, not completely believing the doctor in front of him. "If we have any other questions, we'll be sure to get back to you." He quickly left the room, Olivia trailing behind. He didn't have to look at her face to know that something didn't sit quite right with Dr. Williams.


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia and George Huang found Emma in the small room down the hall from her room when they arrived on Thursday. It had been two days since Olivia had last visited her, but had checked in with Alex to find she was doing better. They had decreased the doses of Fluephanizine and she had grown a lot calmer. She was coherent and no longer fought attendants over medication, or when one entered her room.

"Hey Emma," Olivia said, sitting across from her. Huang joined them at the table and he noticed when she visibly tensed in his presence. "This is my friend, George."

"It's nice to meet you, Emma," George said in a gentle voice, "I hear you're doing better."

"I guess," she said with a slight shrug. She continued to draw on the pad in front of her.

"Have you had anymore nightmares," Olivia asked softly. She knew Emma didn't want to talk to Huang, so she tried to prompt a conversation between them.

"They don't stop," she said quietly.

"What do you see in your nightmares," George asked softly. Olivia hadn't been joking when she said the girl was skittish around people. Although her medication had been decreased, she still moved nervously, her hands shaking. He wondered just how much medication she had been on. If he didn't know any better, it looked like she was going through withdrawal.

"Sometimes, I see him. Sometimes I see things from the past." His eyes met Olivia's who were raised in surprise. She obviously hadn't heard this before.

"Emma, what things from the past," George asked, leaning forward. "Did someone hurt you before?"

"Not me," Emma said, her concentration on the picture in front of her."Her."

"Her who," Olivia asked softly. Emma shook her head and she began to rock back and forth as she drew. Olivia and George both knew that whoever Emma had witnessed being hurt, that it had scarred her deeply. Olivia reached out to touch her, but felt Emma jerk away, throwing the pencil on the table and standing up. She sat on the bench beside the window, her eyes looking out as she rocked back and forth agitatedly.

Olivia stood up and sat across from her, trying to meet Emma's eyes. "Emma, I'm here to help you. Remember?" She kept her voice smooth and soft while she reached out to the teen. "Who did he hurt?"

"He hurt Sarah. Took her away." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke, tears falling down her face.

"Who's Sarah, Emma? Who took her away?" Olivia asked. Emma shook her head, tears falling down her face.

"He'll hurt me," she said, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"No he won't," Olivia said, "We'll protect you."

"You didn't before," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. Although she was upset, Olivia could tell the girl was able to think clearer than she had before. She didn't want to push her to much, though. She recognized the signs of her slipping back into the psychosis.

"Emma, this person that hurt Sarah, is he the man that raped you," Olivia asked, reaching out to touch her knee gently and was surprised when she didn't pull away. Emma nodded her head vigorously, the tears falling down her face. She reached out to take Emma's hand, then stopped when she heard George's voice.

"Olivia, look at this." She turned to George, who was holding up the picture Emma had been working on. The picture, what she originally thoughtto bea drawing of Emma, was actually of two girls. Both with red hair and bright green eyes. In the picture though, one was older and the other look to be younger, around age five.

She took the picture from George and closed her eyes as realization dawned on her. "Emma, this is Sarah, isn't it?" She nodded again and Olivia felt tears rise to her own eyes. He had raped and killed her twin.

She handed the picture back and looked at Emma, who was still rocking back and forth, but seemed to be lost in her own world. Feeling the need to help the girl feel connected to something, Olivia reached out and pulled Emma in her arms, surprised when the girl curled in to her, her head resting against her neck, her knees resting in Olivia's lap.

"He won't hurt you anymore," Olivia said, rubbing her back gently, resting her cheek against her hair. Emma just sat still in her arms, allowing herself to be held. George observed the interaction, then left for a moment, telling Olivia he was going to speak to Dr. Williams.

"Dr. Williams, my name is Dr. George Huang. I've been working with the SVU to help solve Emma Hayes' case," he said, knocking on the door.

"Dr. Huang, please come in," Dr. Williams said, "I was visiting with Emma this morning. How is she?"

"A little shaken up, but not bad," he said, "I was wondering about her medication. She seemed to be going through bouts of withdrawal."

"Fluphenazine and Prozac," he said, "We've been decreasing her dosages of the Flupehnazine as needed. That may have been the withdrawal you were observing."

"Tell me about her history. About Sarah." He sat down, facing the doctor and looking over the file he had given him over Emma.

"Sarah was Emma's twin sister," he said, "She was raped when they were five by an unknown person. He kidnapped Sarah and Emma, killing their mother, then raping Sarah, then Emma. Emma managed to escape before she was killed. She was found wandering the streets, her sister's body found a week later."

"Was theman ever found," he asked.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Emma was too disturbed and shocked to describe him."

"How long have you been treating her?"

"Three months," he replied, "She's currently thirteen, which is young for schizophrenia, but it's not unheard of. We've been keeping her under close observation."

"Has she talked to you about the nightmares," George asked, handing the file back.

"No," he said, "She's been quiet and withdrawn, but given the trauma she's been through, that's not a surprise. During our sessions, she gives one word answers, but doesn't seem to really tell me what's been going on. When I try to push her, she gets agitated."

"I wondered if I could take her under my care. She seems to respond well to Detective Benson and myself," he said. Truth was that something about Dr. Williams didnt' sit rigt with him.

"It'd be one less case for me to see," Williams said, "I would, of course, need to meet with her every couple of weeks, to assess her. Her primary care would remain to the hospital, of course."

"Of course," Huang agreed. "I will meet with her here, and can give reports as needed."

"That'd be great," Williams said, "I'm just glad to see that she is finally talking to someone. If she continues to improve, we might be able to release her to another facility. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another patient to tend to."

Huang nodded and stood up, shaking the doctor's hand before leaving the room.

He found Olivia in Emma's room, sitting by the bed where the teen slept. She looked up as he stood in the doorway and stood, letting go of Emma's hand and walking out of the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5

"I found the file on Sarah Hayes' case," Elliot said, walking up to Olivia as she entered the station, "She was raped, then beaten to death. No one was ever found in the case. Boyfriend she had been dating at the time was questioned, but nothing conclusive could be found, so the case was dropped. No other leads were found. Case was dropped."

"Two five year-olds were raped and one of them was murdered," Olivia said, "How do you drop a case like that?"

"Liv, it has just as many holes as Emma's case," he said, "Plus, it was seven years ago, during a summer with an unusually high crime spree." He paused, seeing her rub her forehead out of frustration. He knew his next piece of news wasn't going to make it any better. "We got the results from the rape kit."

She looked up, her eyebrow raised as she indicated for him to continue. "It didn't show anything," he said. His voice sounded just as deflated as she felt.

"Nothing? As in no sperm," she asked, leaning back and facing him.

"Nothing as in no sperm, no spermacide, no pubes…nothing," he said, "All it found was some cotton strands, most likely from a tampon."

She groaned and closed her eyes, rubbing the bridge of her nose in a sign that he recognized as her getting a headache. "One week on this case and we have nothing to go on," she said, "Were there any prints on the screen?"

"Dead end," he replied. "How did it go with Huang today?"

"I already told about her twin," she said, "She started to shut down after that. I'll probably try again in a few days. Huang's going to take her on as a regular patient. He agreed with your assessment on Williams. Something didn't sit right with him either. Williams will need to meet with her once every two weeks though, to do an assessment on her."

"Good," he said, nodding his head. "You busy after work? Wanna grab dinner?"

"Actually, I'm supposed to have dinner with Alex tonight. Take a rain check?"

"Yeah," he said, giving her a soft smile, "Have fun tonight." She smiled back, then bent hear head to continue her paperwork.

He sat down at his desk and studied her for a moment, noticing the soft smile on her lips as she worked. He had suspected that there was more to Alex than she let on, but didn't press the subject. He studied her for a moment more, then went to work on his own paperwork.

They walked along the streets of Little Italy, Alexei's arm around Olivia's shoulders to keep her warm against the cold night. "So, how did you end up at the hospital Emma's at," she asked, pulling her coat tighter around herself.

"I finished at Columbia a couple of years ago, worked at Mercy, then transferred there when an opening came up," he said, "I like being able to work with the patients there. It's more personal and the cases are quite challenging."

"Emma and you seem to get along," she said, pulling him closer to her as the wind gusted suddenly.

"She's a good kid that just got dealt a hard hand," he said. "SVU's not a surprise for you." She smiled gently, brushing a piece of hair from her face. She had told Alex about her mother when they were in undergrad together. They had dated one and off throughout college, nothing to serious, though.

"I like it there. I feel like I finally belong somewhere," she said with a shrug.

"I'm glad you ended up happy." She felt him press a kiss to her hair and smiled, stopping to look up at him.

"Alex, we can't…I mean..." She stopped when he pressed a light kiss to her lips.

"Don't worry so much. You always did," he smiled gently, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. "I miss you."

"I've missed you too, but…can we wait. I mean until after Emma's case. I just…it doesn't feel right." She slid her hand down, squeezing his hand gently, hoping he understood.

"Okay," he said, smiling softly, "We'll wait." She returned the smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek before looping her arm through his and walking to catch a cab.

Emotions had rolled through her the entire date. It'd been so long since she'd been with anyone who cared about her for than just a night's pleasure, but Alex...things had always been on and off between them and while it sounded like it would fit her life, she wanted something to rely on.

She kissed him gently on the cheek when the cab pulled up at her apartment and went upstairs, noticing the cab didn't pull away until she was safely inside.

The phone rang at two, waking her out of a peaceful sleep. "Benson," she muttered, flipping her phone open. She pushed the hair our of her eyes and fumbled for the alarm clock.

"O…Olivia?"

She froze in bed at the sound of the girl's shaking voice, then shoved the covers back, every evidence of sleep gone. "Emma? What's wrong, honey?" She pushed the covers back and began to feel around for her jeans.

"He's here," she whispered with a shaky voice. Before Olivia could ask or even react, the phone went dead.

"Emma? Are you there?" She cursed, disconnecting and speed dialing Elliot's cell.

"Meet me at the hospital. Emma's in trouble." She didn't even wait for a response from him before she snapped her phone shut and shoved it in her back pocket before slipping a hooded sweater on and grabbing a jacket with her gun.

She called for a unit on her way to her car, then raced off to the hospital, praying they weren't too late.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks for the reviews :) I didn't realize that Alex would be confused with Alex Cabot, so Alex Alexei in this story. Couldn't leave y'all hanging too long...leave some reviews and the update might be up soon...

She arrived minutes behind the police cars, the red and blue lights reflecting off the windows of the hospital. She raced up the steps, gun drawn as she ran up the stairs towards Emma's room.

The hallway echoed with screams of the other patients; she could see them pressed against the windows, clawing at the paned glass. She tried to ignore them as she pushed her way down the hall, gun drawn in front of her. "Emma," she called out, drawing closer to the room.

She heard a soft whimper and motioned to the cops following her to stand back. She carefully pushed the door open, her eyes scanning the room. She found Emma curled up in the corner, tearing at her clothes as tears fell down her face, her eyes wide and full of terror. She tucked her gun back in pocket and knelt down in front of her as cops began to examine the room. "Emma," she said softly.

"He raped me. He raped me." She repeated the same phrase over and over again, shaking as she pulled her knees to her chest. Olivia turned on the lamp on her bedside table, noticing how she flinched, trying to cover her face.

"It's just me," Olivia said, "You're safe now." She reached out, gently turning Emma's face to hers. She saw that her lip was split and a large bruise circled her cheek. "Honey, did he hurt you anywhere else?"

She shook her head, her eyes bouncing around the room. "Was she given any medication," Olivia asked, turning to the attendant who hovered just outside the door.

"Just her nighttime meds," the attendant said.

"Can we get a rape kit ready? I'd also like to draw some blood- see what's in her," she said. The nurse nodded and left Olivia with Emma.

"Emma, how did he get in," Olivia asked.

"Th..through the window," she stammered out. An officer nodded and moved to the window, examining it. "He…had his wings on. I…I tore at him. Fought him."

"Good. You did good," Olivia said, rubbing her arm. She felt the girl shaking and reached for the blanket paramedics brought in. "Honey, I want to try and move you to another room so the police can search in here. Can you walk?"She nodded and tried to push herself up, but fell back against Olivia.

"It's okay," she said softly. She motioned to Elliot, who had just arrived, who nodded and walked over, picking her up. Olivia was surprised when Emma went willingly.

The were lead to another room, where Elliot set her on the bed, then moved back to let Olivia take charge. Emma lay still, her eyes still moving around and her body tremored, even though she had stopped crying. "El, I think she's been drugged," Olivia said, tugging the blanket over her.

"Have they taken blood yet," he asked. She shook her head, then looked up as the nurse entered. Elliot left the room while blood was drawn and the rape kit completed. Olivia sat by Emma, holding her hand the entire time.

When the nurse finished, she left and Elliot entered again, sitting in the chair next to Olivia. "Emma, can you tell me anything else," Olivia asked softly. She shook her head, her eyes struggling to focus on her and Elliot. Her skin was clammy and her hands flexed against the sheets, like she was trying to grasp onto something.

They heard the door open and Dr. Williams entered, carrying a medical bag. "How long has she been like this," he asked, shining the light in her eyes. Emma winced, trying to shut her eyes. Olivia felt the grip Emma had on her hand tightened, but didn't show it on her face. When she looked down, she noticed fear in the teen's eyes.

"About fifteen minutes," Olivia said. "At first, I thought it was shock, but now, it looks like she's drugged."

"It looks like she's been drugged with Percocet. It can cause a deadly reaction with her other drugs," he said, digging through his bag and pulling out a vial and needle. "Emma, I'm going to give you a shot." Olivia brushed sweaty hair out of Emma's eyes, noticing her wince as the needle entered her skin.

Emma gradually stilled, her eyes closing as her grip loosened on Olivia's hand, but Olivia still hung on tight, not letting her go for a minute. "Emma? C'me on honey. Talk to us," Olivia said softly.

"L…Livia," Emma asked, her eyes fluttering open, "W…what happened?" Olivia glanced Elliot, then turned back to Emma, who clutched her hand. "This isn't my room. What happened?"

"What's the last thing that you remember happening," Olivia asked.

"I took my medication, then went to bed," she said, her voice shaking, "Why are my clothes torn? Olivia, what happened!" Her eyes were bright with fear, the shaking now coming from the terror that was visible on her face.

"Hey, hey," Olivia said gently, "Calm down. Okay?" She rubbed Emma's arm gently, feeling the girl relax slightly. "You were attacked . We're still trying to figure out what happened."

At her words, Emmashoved Olivia's hands away and walked over to the corner, crossing her arms over her chest and looking out the window. Elliot touched Olivia's shoulder gently, letting her know he'd be outside, talking to Dr. Williams.

"Emma, talk to me," Olivia said, reaching out for her.

"No," she said, shaking her head and beginning to shake. She began to nervously pick at her hands, tearing at her clothes again. "He…he hurt me and I d..d…don't remember."

"Emma," Olivia said, grasping her shoulders gently. Emma struggled weakly, sinking to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her head between her knees.

"You promised you would help me," Emma said, rocking back and forth. "You promised and he…he raped me…again. You didn't say that, but I know he did. I can see it on your face, all their faces." She motioned to the door where the attendant and Elliot stood quietly. Olivia bowed her head, feeling the guilt heavy in her heart.

"I know I let you down," she said softly, "But, I need you trust me here. Can you do that? I'm going to put police outside your door, so that he doesn't get to you again."

She nodded, lifting her head, but the shaking didn't subside. "Thank you," Olivia said gently.

"Olivia, I'm tired," Emma said in a soft voice. She looked up and saw her eyes starting to droop as her posture began to relax. Whatever she had been given was coursing through her body quickly

"They're still going through your room," she said, "Are you alright with staying in here tonight? I'm going to see about getting a guard for the door, so you'll be safe."

"Will you stay," she asked, allowing Olivia to help her off the floor and into the bed.

"Yeah," Olivia said, "I'll stay for a little while. Go to sleep for now." Emma nodded and closed her eyes, feeling Olivia brush hair out of her eyes and tuck the covers around her.

Olivia stayed until she had fallen asleep, then went out in the hallway, cracking the door open so she could hear if she needed her. "How's she doing," Elliot asked, walking up to her.

"Asleep," she said, "What'd they find?"

"Condom wrapper," he said, "He didn't have time to hide it."

"Prints on the wrapper," she asked hopefully.

"Partial. Not enough to go on," he said, "I asked about a guard for the door. One of the officers will stay behind until they can get here."

"Good," she said, letting out a small sigh of relief. "El, I want to take Williams in for questioning. I think he's been drugging Emma."

"I think so too, but I don't think there's anything for us to base that on," he said, "Did she say anything else?" He could sense that there was something wrong. She looked tired and worn out all of a sudden.

"No," Olivia said, "Look…I want to stay a little longer. Take Williams in and get Fin or Munch to help you question him."

"Okay," he said. "Liv, this wasn't your fault. You got to her. She's safe now." He squeezed her shoulder and left her outside of the room Emma slept in.

Alexei found Olivia helping with the investigation in Emma's room. He had headed for the hospital as soon as he had found out, but an accident in the Holland tunnel had delayed him. The sun was starting to rise in the horizon and he yawned, glancing at his watch. It was almost six-thirty.

"Hey," he said, "You find anything?"

"Not really," she said, walking over to him. She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the adrenaline of the past few hours catch up to her. "Emma's asleep in another room. Is there…some place we can talk?"

He nodded, leading her downstairs to his office in the basement. "Alex, how long has Dr. Williams been working here," Olivia asked, crossing her arms as he shut the door.

"Five years," he said, "Why?"

"I think he's drugging Emma," she said, sitting down.

"What? Why would he do that," he asked.

"Because I think he's the one that's been raping her," Olivia said, "I need to know…have there been any complaints against him?"

"No," Alex said, shaking his head. "Adam Williams is one of the top professionals in the field. Did Emma tell you he's been raping her?"

"No," Olivia said, "But, she drew a picture of a man with bright green eyes. And, when she saw him this morning, Alex…she's afraid of him."

"Olivia, Dr. Williams isn't drugging Emma," Alex said, "She's developing schizophrenia. Who knows what she believes to be real."

"Alex, she's fine around myself, Elliot, George Huang…everyone," she said, "But, when Dr. Williams walks into the room, she tenses up and there's fear in her eyes. I would take her out of here, but I can't. She needs to be under medical attention until she gets better."

"What do you want me to do, Liv," Alex asked, "I can't go to the board unless I have some evidence to back up your claims."

"Keep an eye on her and let me know if anything changes. Check her charts to see when he's been with her. I'll check up on as much as possible, but I can't be here all the time," she said.

"Okay," he said, nodding, "But Liv, the minute he gets suspicious…"

"Don't let him," she said, cutting him off. "We took Williams in for questioning and I need to get back to the station. Emma has my card. She knows she can call me if anything happens. The same goes for you." He nodded, watching her put her jacket on and turn to leave.

"Liv, about earlier this evening…"

"Let's…just concentrate on Emma, then we can talk about us," she said, offering a soft smile. He nodded, watching her leave his office.


	7. Chapter 7

"He's in interrogation," Fin said, glancing up as Olivia walked in, her eyes scanning the bull pen for her partner. She nodded and dropped her jacket at her desk before heading to the interrogation rooms.

She stood outside the double paned glass, arms crossed as she saw an all too familiar scene. Williams sat at the table while Munch sat across from him. Elliot was pacing behind him, arms crossed over his chest. He was frustrated, but she had seen him a lot angrier in the past. She pressed the button on the speaker box and soon, Williams' voice filled the hall.

"I didn't give Emma any more medication than she needed," Williams said.

"Then how did you know she had overdosed on her medication," Elliot asked, leaning against the table to look into Williams' eyes.

"She displayed all of the classic symptoms," Williams said, "Trouble focusing, shaking, clammy skin…those are signs of a patient that has overdosed on that medication. One of the first things Icheck is if a patient has overdosed on their medication."

"How would Emma overdose on her medication, if you didn't give them to her," Munch asked.

"I don't know," he said, "Maybe you should ask the nurse that hands out the medication. Why am I being questioned? Has she said that I raped her?"

"No," Elliot said, "But every time you enter her room, she gets scared. Why would that be?"

"I don't know," Williams said, "She's a deeply disturbed teenager. I wouldn't rely on much of what she claims."

"That's funny," Elliot said, "Because everytime you're not in the room and she hasn't had her 'medication', she seems pretty lucid to me."

"Detective Stabler, do you have a medical degree," Williams asked.

"No," he said, "But Dr. Huang does and he agrees with us."

"Then I don't know what to tell you," he said, leaning back in his chair. The cocky grin on his face irritated Olivia.

"Tell us if you raped Emma Hayes," Munch said.

"That's easy enough," he said, "I did not rape her. I did not hurt her. I did not touch her in anyway that could be seen as inappropriate."

Olivia sighed and closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead. She saw Elliot clench his fists, knowing that he was getting frustrated. She knocked on the glass and watched as he stepped out, crossing his arms over his chest. "We can't hold him for long, El," she said, "He's not letting onto anything and we don't have anything to keep him. He hasn't even lawyered up."

"Liv, you and I both know that he did this," Elliot said.

"Yeah, I know," she said, "I talked to Alex…he's looking into a few things. Question him some more and see if he caves. If not, we'll figure out something." He nodded, raising his eyebrow. He knew that she had something in mind if she was doing this. She would never let Emma get hurt- not after last night.

She squeezed his elbow gently, then left him to finish questioning Williams.

"Did you get anything," Olivia asked, glancing up from her paperwork as Elliot sat down across from her.

"No," he said, "Alex find anything?"

"Her blood sample showed high levels of percocet," Olivia said.

"Just like the good doctor said." He ran his hand through his short hair in frustration.

"Yeah," Olivia said, "But, we got the name of the nurse that hands out the nightly meds. We meet with her at three, when she goes on shift. He's also going to get us a history of her medication and how much she's been given.."

"Great," he said, "Liv, you and Alex…"

"We're just friends," she said, knowing where this was leading. He raised his eyebrows, knowing there was more than that, but knew she'd tell him when she wanted to. "I'm going out for coffee. The sludge won't quite kick it this morning. Want anything?"

"I'll walk with you," he said, pulling his jacket on and following her out of the office.

Elliot handed Olivia her coffee and they walked back outside, the cold air hitting them. "We dated during undergrad," she said, sipping her coffee as they crossed the street.

"You and Alex," he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "He wanted to start something, but I didn't want to…not with him being Emma's doctor."

"What happened to break you off," he asked.

"We just…grew apart. We were on and off for a few years, then just never really reconnected," she said, "Wasn't anything intentional." He nodded, not sure of what to say.

There had been a point in their partnership where they told each other everything. Every date, every event…but, then something had happened. When his marriage dissolved, so did their partnership. "Hey Liv," he said, opening the door to the precinct.

"Yeah," she said, pausing to look up at him.

"Thanks…for talking to me," he said. She smiled and nodded, pushing past him to enter the warmth of the building.

She had felt a slight ray of hope in her heart. One she hadn't realized was missing until that moment.

"How are the drugs distributed," Elliot asked, watching as the nurse moved around the infirmary, filling small plastic cups with a variety of pills.

"We have a chart of all the patients," she said, "It records any events for the day and any changes in their nightly dosage." Olivia glanced over at the chart, scribbling notes on her pad.

"Do you recall any changes to Emma Hayes' dosages," Olivia asked.

"We've changed her levels of medication, but nothing too drastic," the nurse said, glancing over the chart.

"Who approves changes in medication?"

"For Emma, it's Dr. Williams," she said, "We have four doctors on staff. Each doctor has about twenty patients."

"Other doctors," Elliot asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," the nurse said, "We have 80 patients around here. You think we have just one doctor?"

"What are the names of the other doctors," Olivia asked, looking to Elliot.

"Schultz, Raymond and Lahiri," the nurse said, "All three of them are around, if you need to talk to them."

"Thanks," Elliot said, "Do you remember how many pills of fluphenazine you gave Emma last night."

"Two," she said, "Her normal dosage."

"Does anyone else have access to the medication?"

"The other nurses on staff and the other doctors," she said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have meds to get out before dinner." Olivia and Elliot nodded, watching her leave.

"If she didn't give Emma the medication, then who did," Elliot asked, reaching for his jacket.

"I don't know," she said, "Don't put your jacket on just yet. I want to talk to Emma, see if she remembered anything else."

He nodded, following her out the door.

Olivia found Emma with Huang, talking in one of the rooms down the hall. Elliot saw a the look of concern on her face as she watched Emma respond to one of Huang's questions. Bruises circled her wrists and although she had the same sad look on her face of a victim that had been raped, Olivia and Elliot both knew she was getting better by just talking to the doctor.

"I'll talk to her later," Olivia said, pulling away from the window. "Let's go see if those doctors are here."

Elliot nodded and as they walked away, stopping when they heard the door open and Emma call Olivia's name. Olivia turned, catching Emma in her arms as she ran up to her. "Hey," Olivia said, holding the girl close. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Emma said softly, "I talked to Huang…told him what happened."

"Great," Olivia said, "I'm proud of you." Emma nodded, pulling away slightly. "You having a good day?"

"Yeah," Emma said with a soft smile, "It's hard, but today's a good day."

"I'm glad," Olivia said, returning the smile, "We need to talk to some of the other doctors, then I'll stop by before I leave. Okay?"

"Okay," Emma said. She gave Huang a soft smile, then walked down the hall to her room.

"She remember anything else," Olivia asked, turning to Huang.

"No," he said, "But, there's a bruise on her upper arm, like from a shot. I think she was injected with the liquid form of the drug."

"I'll check into it," Olivia said.

"She is having a good day. She's upset about what happened last night, but I think she's slowly coming to terms with it. The depression doesn't seem to be weighing in on her as much and as for schizophrenia, I think it's the drugs that have been forcing her to display those symptoms," Huang said, "I've talk to Dr. Lahiri and explained the situation. He'll be taking Emma on as one of his patients. I've worked with him before. He can be trusted."

"Thanks," Olivia said, "We're going to go talk to them now. See if they know anything that can help."

"Okay," he said, "Let me know if you need any more help. I meet with her again on Thursday." Olivia nodded, thanking him again, then heading down to the doctor's area to speak with the other three doctors.

"Dr. Mark Lahiri, I'm Detective Stabler, this is my partner, Detective Olivia Benson," Elliot said, motioning to his partner, "Mind if we ask you some questions?"

"Not at all," the doctor said, closing a file. "George Huang had said you two might be visiting. Did he inform you of the switch in Emma's care?"

"Yes," Olivia said, "He did tell us you would be undertaking her care. I had wanted to ask you a few questions about Dr. Williams."

"Dr. Williams has been a fine physician for this facility. I must say that it came as quite a shock when he was taken in for questioning," he said. "I assume you had sound proof."

"Dr. Lahiri, Emma was raped last night and was found overdosed on Percocet," Elliot said, clarifying the situation.

"Percocet's a common enough drug for our patients. Perhaps her medication got mixed up with another's," Lahiri said.

"Dr. Huang reported a bruise on her arm, like from a shot," Olivia said. "We spoke to the nurse that handed out the medication and she stated that Emma was given her regular dosage of medication."

"Perhaps her attacker injected her," Lahiri said.

"We're still looking into it," Elliot said, "We had just wanted to know if any other patients have been attacked in such a manner here."

"Not to my knowledge," he stated, "Security has never been a problem here."

"Okay," Elliot said, seeing that they weren't going to get much more information. "Thank you…for your time."

"It's no problem," Dr. Lahiri said, "I just hope that you are able to catch the person that's been doing this."

"Us too," Olivia said, pulling her jacket on. She said good-bye, then told Elliot to head to the station- she was going to visit with Emma for a little while.

Emma lay on her bed, reading a book when Olivia knocked gently, then entered. "Hey," Olivia said, "What're you reading?"

"Baby-Sitter's Club," Emma said, pushing herself up. "George said Dr. Lahiri would be my doctor now."

"Yeah," Olivia said, "Why didn't you tell me about the bruise on your arm?"

"I didn't notice it until this morning, when I was in the shower," Emma said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's not a problem," Olivia said, tilting her chin up, "Just let me know if you notice some other things."

"Okay," Emma said, "You never told me if the kit they ran found anything."

"Now it's my turn to apologize," Olivia said, "Unfortunately, they didn't find anything. Just some cotton strands from a tampon."

"But, that can't be possible," Emma said, shaking her head. "I don't get my period."

"What," Olivia asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"The medications and other stuff…I don't get my period," Emma said.

"Okay," Olivia said, trying not to let on that something wasn't setting right with her. They heard a knock on the door and looked up as nurse pushed the door open.

"Em, time for lunch," the nurse said, "Will you eat in here, or with the others?"

"I'll go to the dining hall," Emma said, pushing herself off the bed.

"Okay," the nurse said, smiling. She held the door open and Emma exited with Olivia, who walked her downstairs.

"You know, if you keep improving, maybe I'll be able to get you out of her for lunch one day," Olivia said, stopping outside the dining hall.

"Really," Emma asked with the first bright smile Olivia had seen from her. "I mean…that'd be great."

"Keep taking your meds and call me if you need anything," Olivia said, "Day or night."

"Okay," Emma said, "I'll see you later. Tell Detective Stabler 'hi' for me."

"I will," Olivia said. She waved as Emma went into the cafeteria, then went outside to get a cab back to the precinct.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Haha...sorry! Wrong chapter was loaded...here's the new one. Anyways, let me know what you think...hope you enjoy it! If you're reading and haven't reviewed, please do so...it helps know where y'all want the story to go :)

Two days later, little progress had been made on Emma's case. They'd had the cotton strands analyzed and a disinfecting chemical had been discovered, meaning that whoever had raped Emma had cleaned up afterwards. Most likely, the detectives had concluded, a doctor.

Olivia laughed as Alexei and her arrived at Rockefeller Center for ice skating Saturday afternoon. He had called her up, inviting her to go out Saturday. Knowing she hated surprises, he hadn't told her what they would be doing, even though she had begged during lunch.

"You seriously expect me to stay up on these things," she asked with a grin.

"You bet," he said, returning the smile. He held his hand out and she took it, walking warily to the rink.

"C'me on. Don't tell me you've never skated before," he said, helping her out onto the ice.

"Not since college," she said, grinning and rolling her eyes. She let him pull her along, gently gliding across the ice. She laughed, feeling her feet slip from beneath her, pulling both herself and him down with him.

"It looks like you wet yourself," Liv said, laughing as he stood up, then bent down to help her up. He rolled his eyes, looping her hand through his arm and guided her around the rink.

"Em really adores you, you know," he said as they walked along 5th Avenue after ice skating. A light snow fell, illuminated against the lights of the Christmas window displays.

"She's a good kid," she said, "I just hope no more pain comes to her."

"Me too," he said, "She said you talked about checking her out of the hospital for lunch."

"Yeah," she said, "I mean…if that's okay."

"It should be fine. She can get a little anxious in public, especially around men, but if she's with you, she should be fine," he said.

"George will be talking to her all week to get her ready," Olivia explained. She stopped outside of a window, watching with a soft smile as a train wound it's way through presents and snow covered mountains.

"What's up," Alex asked, nudging her with his shoulder.

"Just looking at the display," she said, glancing over at him. She looped her arm through and his and they began to walk along the sidewalk again.

"We have a Christmas exchange at the hospital," he said, "You should come. It'll be fun."

"I'll try and make it," she said, "Christmas can get a little crazy around the station."

"I bet," he said, "I figured you'd be married by now…a kid or two, the whole nine yards."

"Just never found time…or the right guy," she said, stopping to look at a window display.

"Liv, if you let me, I can be the 'right guy'. I know right now isn't right, but some day, I want to try again," Alexei said, linking their fingers.

"Alex, I just...," she started to say, then stopped when he gently pressed his lips to hers.

"Just...think about it," he said. She nodded, her cheeks blushing as they walked down the street.

Huang found the two detectives at their desksMonday morning. "Detectives, I was hoping to talk to you for a moment," Huang said, motioning upstairs.

Elliot and Olivia glanced at each other, then set their files aside before heading up to talk to Huang. "I met with Emma yesterday and I was wondering how the case is coming along," he said, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"Unfortunately, slow," Olivia said, "The cotton found inside of her had a disinfectant on it. We're guessing someone was really trying to hide their tracks. It's one on a list of things as to why we suspect Williams is doing this to her."

"I'll agree with you that it was doctor, but I don't think Williams is the one that you need to be looking at," Huang said, "I pulled the files for all of the doctors at Emma's hospital. Dr. Williams and Dr. Raymond both worked as psychologists prior to this."

"What would that have to do with anything," Elliot asked.

"Have you ever been hypnotized," Huang asked.

"Doc, you know how I feel about that," Elliot said, rubbing his hands together.

"If adoctor does it correctly, they can make a person believe anything. They're standing on a mountain,not afraid of anything, then jump off a roof, thinking they can fly. The mind is a powerful object," Huang said. "And if tampered with, it can destroy a person. With just a few words."

"Are you saying that someone hypnotized Emma to think someone with wings was raping her," Olivia asked, trying to grasp where her was going with this information.

"I think that Emma saw wings because she had been drugged and the drugged caused that hallucination, but no…she was actually raped," Huang said, "What I'm suggesting is someone has been tampering with her mind, making her believe she's schizophrenic."

"Why would someone do that," Olivia asked, disgust on her face.

"To keep them right where they could get to her," Elliot said, pushing himself up.

Huang nodded, showing that Elliot had guessed right.

"Why do you think this is happening," Olivia asked.

"Yesterday, during my session with Emma, she was having a bad day. She was paranoid and afraid people were going to attack her. She ate lunch in her room and that was only because the guard was outside," he said, "She was fine Wednesday. No signs of her psychosis or of the depression. She said Dr. Raymond came and talked to her since Dr. Lahiri was out and during that time, she didn't remember a thing. She remembers him coming into the room and then, she woke up and he wasn't there."

"She could have just spaced out," Elliot said, trying to look for a hole in his defense.

"Yes," Huang said, "But, hypnosis is trigged by a series of key words. When I spoke to Emma during our session, she looked like she was in a trance, waiting for instructions. I snapped my fingers and she came back, not remembering a thing I had said from two minutes earlier."

"Do you think we can get her out of there," Liv asked.

"Emma needs her medication and an environment where she isn't isolated," he said, "She needs access to her doctors and nurses."

"Will she be able to function outside of the hospital environment," Olivia asked. Elliot raised his eyebrows, knowing where this was going.

"Given therapy and continuing her medication, yes, she will be able to attend a public school, college, even get a job," he said, "I just think that someone has been tampering with her mind to hide whatever's being done with her."

Olivia nodded, pushing herself up off the couch and pacing by the window. "I'll let you two get back to work," Huang said, "Call me if you need anything."

Elliot nodded, pushing himself up to talk to Olivia. "You want to take her in, don't you," he said, leaning against the back of the couch.

"El, there's someone messing with her mind," Olivia said, "We have a guard outside her door and she is still in danger."

"Why would someone go through all this? She's an orphan with a history of mental illness. Why would anyone want to keep her in that state," he asked.

"El, what if this is related to Sarah's raping," Olivia asked, stopping to face him. "What if someone is altering her mind to cover up something?"

"How can we prove it, though," Elliot asked.

"I don't know," she said, "But, I'm going to talk to Emma. Did you want to come?"

"I'll meet up with you," he said, "Need to finish paperwork from the Sanders case." She nodded, pulling her jacket on and headed to the hospital.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Wow...sorry for the long time in updating! I couldn't figure out where to head with this. Ideas or comments would be greatly appreciated. Hopefully, the next chapter won't take so long.

Emma was on her bed, her eyes staring out the window. They were dull and lifeless, reminding her of the girl she had met just a few weeks earlier. "Emma," Olivia said softly, "Hey honey."

"Hi," Emma said, turning to look at her. Her voice was soft and Olivia could see the glazed look in her eyes. "Dr. Lahiri switched my prescription. He said it'd take few days to adjust."

"George said you had a bad day yesterday," she said, sitting down on the bed and brushing the hair from her face.

"Yeah," Emma said, "Just didn't sleep much. That's all."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I feel so…dirty and unwanted," Emma said, "Maybe it's better if he keeps raping me. At least someone's getting pleasure." Her bitter honesty startled Olivia so much that she reached out and turned Emma to face her.

"Don't you dare say that," Olivia said, grasping her lightly by the shoulders, "Don't you ever say that. No one in this world deserves what you have been put through. So don't you for a moment even think about giving up. El and I….we're going to find this guy and he will go to jail for a long time. Do you understand?"

Emma nodded slowly, slipping her arms around Olivia's neck, hugging her tightly. "It will be okay," Olivia said, hugging her tight. Emma nodded, pulling away from her. "Now, I promised you a lunch away from here. What are you in the mood for?"

"You had said Saturday and…I haven't done well today. I haven't kept up my end of the deal," Emma said sadly.

"Yes, you have. The deal was you stay on your meds. Everyone has a bad day. Now c'me on, before I change my mind," Olivia said, standing up.

Emma nodded and pulled on a hooded sweatshirt too large for her small frame and followed Olivia out of the room. Olivia showed the nurse at the desk the note from Alexei, allowing Emma out for lunch, then signed her out.

"Alright kid, what sounds good," Olivia asked as they walked out onto the street.

"Hmmm, I haven't had decent pizza in awhile," Emma said.

"Pizza it is," Olivia said. She felt Emma move close to her and put her arm around her shoulder, helping her feel safe from all of the people around them.

They ate lunch at a pizza place not far from the station. "George's recommending me for art classes," Emma said, reaching for a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"That's great," Olivia said, grinning at her.

"It's a step," Emma said, shrugging, "If I do okay with that, then maybe I can start classes again."

"You'll get there," Olivia said, reassuring her. "Just…work hard at getting better."

"Yeah," she said. Olivia noticed the far off look she got when there was something on her mind. "Em? What is it?"

"Nothing," the teenager said, shaking her head.

"C'me on," Olivia said softly, "Talk to me."

"Can we? I mean later," Emma said, the words tumbling out of her mouth.

"Yeah," Olivia said softly. Emma smiled her thanks, then ate her pizza. "So, I was wondering if you'd like to come stay with me one night?"

"Seriously," Emma asked, her smile brightening again.

"Attend art classes and keep up the hard work and I'll talk to Alex," Olivia said.

"Why are you doing all of this for me," Emma asked, finishing off her piece of pizza. "Lunch? Spend the night?"

"I promised to help you get out of there," Olivia said, "I thought that if we did things in steps, it might improve the chances of that happening."

"Olivia, I'm not worth this," Emma said, leaning back.

"Yes, you are," Olivia said, leaving little room in her tone of voice for argument. Emma shrugged, her eyes looking around the restaurant. "You ready to head back?" Emma nodded, taking a sip of her coke and following Olivia out.

They arrived back to Emma's room and Olivia watched as she sat down on the bed, staring out the window. "Em, c'me on. Talk to me," Olivia said, sitting down on the bed.

"I feel like I'm slipping," she said, chewing on a hang nail.

"Slipping from what," Olivia asked.

"I feel like I'm hanging on the edge of a cliff and there's nothing but rocks below," she said, trying to rephrase herself.

"Emma, I don't understand what you're trying to say," Olivia said. She reached out and took Emma's hand, feeling the girl's hand cold and clammy.

"There's not much time left." She looked at Olivia saw the desperation in her eyes. "Please, Liv. Hurry."

"I am," Olivia said, "Just hang on. Don't let go." She squeezed Emma's hand, then left, confused by what had happened. At lunch, Emma had seemed distracted, but in her room, away from the crowds, she seemed to desperately cling to her sanity. But, like the sand on the shore, it was washing away in a tide of insanity.

"Sorry I didn't meet you and Emma," Elliot said, "I was checking up on something."

"What's that," she asked, throwing her jacket over her desk chair.

"I walked out of the building to meet you and Emma for lunch, when something caught my eye," he said, standing up. He motioned for her to follow him as he walked out of the department and took the elevator to the roof.

She followed him, curious as to where this was leading. The cold air hit her and she started to shiver, wrapping her arms around herself. Elliot immediately pulled off his jacket and put it around her, earning a soft smile from her.

"El, this had better lead somewhere," she said, following him to the edge of the roof that faced the bridge. People were walking along the edge, wearing suits with flaps attached to help them glide further.

"They're training for free falling," he explained. She watched as a member of the team ran across a ramp extending over the river and spread their arms, the white colored flaps taught in the breeze, then landed on the empty cargo ship a hundred yards away.

"Now, do those flaps remind you of anything," he asked, turning to face her.

"Wings," she said softly. He nodded, raising his eyebrows, then followed her back inside.

Elliot watched as Olivia sat down at her computer and began to search the internet for local diving teams. "Hey El, check this out," she said, looking up at him. "Drs. Raymond and Williams are both on free fall teams."

"The evidence just keeps on comin," he said, reaching for his coat.

They arrived at the hospital and walked upstairs, heading for Emma's room. When they arrived, they found Alexei standing outside of Emma's room, talking to a nurse. "Olivia, I was just about to call you," Alexei said, walking towards her just as he spotted her. Concern weighed heavy on his features and she could tell there was something wrong before he even opened her mouth.

"About what," she asked. "Alexei? What's happened?"

"It's Emma," he said, "She tried to kill herself?"

"What," Olivia asked, a look of incredulity on her face. "I just left her an hour ago. She was fine. What happened?" She felt Elliot step forward and put a hand on her back, trying to comfort her.

"Her nurse said that she arrived to give her her afternoon meds and found her laying on her bed, her wrists slit," Alexei said, "She's in critical condition, in our hospital unit. I just came back to talk to the nurse and I'm heading back to check on her." Olivia nodded, following him without a glance to Elliot. She knew he was by her side.

Emma lay still in the bed, her skin as pale as the sheets. "We're still transplanting some blood into her," Alexei said, "The nurse estimated that she'd been bleeding out for fifteen minutes. She lost a lot of blood in that time."

Olivia nodded, her mouth gummed shut. She didn't know what to say. Her eyes trailed from Emma's face down to the bandages wrapped around her wrists. "You're certain it's a suicide attempt," Elliot asked softly.

"The blade was found in her hand," Alexei said, "I'm just as confused as you are. She was doing fine the past few days. She had her bad days, but she was improving. I like to think that most of that was because of you, Liv."

She nodded, sitting down in the chair, still numb from the sight before her. "If you'll excuse me, I need to check in with my other patients," Alexei said, "You can stay with Emma, for now." Elliot nodded his thanks, watching as he left.

"Liv, you can't…" He sat down next to her and felt his heart stop when he saw the lack of emotion on her face. She was numb, her mind still processing what had happened. They had seen many victims in similar situations and in some cases, worse off. But none of them had caused this kind of reaction from her.

"She said she felt like she was slipping," she said softly. Elliot listened, reaching over and taking on her hands in his. "I should have seen this coming."

"Liv, you weren't here. You couldn't have stopped her," Elliot said gently.

"El, I don't think this was a suicide," she said.

"She's been battling depression for a better part of her life," he said, "She said herself that she was slipping, I'm guessing into schizophrenia. I'm surprised she hasn't tried earlier."

"She was fine at lunch," she said, "Tired and a little off when we got back, but she wasn't suicidal." She pushed herself up, dropping his hand and pacing in the small room. "El, what if…what if Williams got to her? Before we could get him for anything else?"

"Did she say that she had been meeting with him," Elliot asked, watching her nervously pace.

"No," Olivia said, dropping back into the chair, "God El, I promised to keep her safe and look at her…I should have…I should have paid attention. Gotten her out of here. Away from this place." She hung her head, looking down at her hands.

"Liv, this isn't your fault," he said. "She had…depression. You were helping her. You heard Alex. She was getting better. You're not one to throw pity parties, so why are you starting now."

She nodded, wiping the tears from her face and looking up. A nurse entered, nodding to the detective before moving to Emma's side. "I just need to check her stitches," the nurse explained, cutting the gauze away from Emma's skin gently.

Olivia nodded, standing back as the nurse pulled the gauze away. Thick, dark stitches ran down Emma's arm, surrounded by blood spotting and bruise. "El, look at this," Olivia said, looking at the stitches closer. He moved to looking over her shoulder. He followed her gaze and noticed that the stitches pointed towards her wrist, rather than away.

"Why are her stitches pointing towards her wrist," Olivia asked, looking up at the nurse.

"That's the way her skin was torn," the nurse said.

"We were told it was a suicide attempt," Olivia said.

"That's what her chart says," the nurse said, "Why do you ask?"

"In most suicides, skin is torn away from the wrist, since most victims cut towards themselves," Olivia said, "Emma's was torn in the opposite direction."

"Like a murder victim's," Elliot said. "Where's the razor?"

"You'd have to ask Dr. Petrovsky," the nurse said. Elliot and Olivia nodded, then with another look, they went to find Alexei.

"The razor only had Emma's prints on it," Munch said, hanging up the phone, "They said it looked like it had been wiped prior to her handling it."

"Who was the last person to see Emma before she was hurt," Cragen asked, leaning against Olivia's desk.

"The nurse said that the last person she saw go into Emma's room was me," Olivia said, "But there was a fifteen minute gap between when I left her and when the nurse found her. Anyone could have gone into the room at any point."

"How sure are we that this wasn't an attempt," Munch asked, "I mean, the kid has a history of depression and God knows what else."

"She was fine at lunch," Olivia said, "She told me that time was running out and that we needed to hurry, which seems to indicate that someone was after her."

"Do the doctor's think she'll wake up in time to tell us what happened," Cragen asked.

"She's being kept under sedation to allow her body to heal," Olivia said, "She should wake up this afternoon or tomorrow."

"Let's talk to her when she's strong enough," Cragen said, "Maybe she saw who did this to her."

Olivia sat by Emma's side, reading a magazine when movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She turned and saw Emma watching her, tears in her eyes. "Hey," Olivia said, straightening up, "What's wrong?" She reached out and brushed the tears away gently.

"Hurts," Emma said, trying to move her wrists. "Why? Liv, why am I tied down?"

"It's for your own good," Olivia said, "What do you remember?"

"I…Liv, I what happened? I didn't….Oh God, you think I…," her voice faded off as she lifted herself up enough to see the bandages on her wrists.

"Emma, calm down," Olivia said, "I'll see if you can get out of those, but right now, you need to calm down. I don't think you did this to yourself." Emma stilled at her words, her eyes looking up to meet Olivia's.

"You…you believe me," Emma asked, relaxing. Her eyes were still wide, but unfocused. Evidence of the medication coursing through her veins.

"Yes," Olivia said, "But, I need you to tell me what happened. What's the last thing you remember?"

"You and I…we went to lunch," Emma said, "I laid down to sleep and I heard this noise...and then, nothing. I woke up here. Liv, I wouldn't do this, I promise. I would have talked to you…or George. I promise. Please…please just believe me." Tears fell down her face as she shook.

"It's okay," Olivia said softly, "I believe you." She rubbed her arm gently, trying to get her stay calm. "You said you heard a noise. What kind of noise was it?"

"I don't know. It was kind of weird. Like white noise from a tape recorder, I guess," she said, "But I didn't see one, or I didn't have time to."

"Okay," Olivia said, "I'll have CSU check it out." Emma nodded, yawning sleepily.

"Liv," Emma asked, turning her head to face Olivia.

"Yeah," Olivia asked, turning to meet her clear, but tired eyes.

"I'm not crazy." She reached for her hand and squeezed as hard as she could.

"I know," Olivia said softly, rubbing Emma's hand, "I know you're not. Go to sleep. Stop fighting the meds." Emma nodded, her eyes fluttering shut, her hand slowly letting go of Olivia's.


	10. Chapter 10

She watched through the one-sided glass as the doctors administered more medication to Emma. Alexei had called, informing her that Emma was doing better, but was still sedated until she had been determined to not be a threat to herself. She watched the nurse leave, then knocked on the door gently before entering.

"Livia," Emma asked, looking up at her.

"Hey," she said, smiling as she sat down. "How're you doing?"

"Better," she said, giving her a half smile. It was the first smile Olivia had seen since the attack. "How's Elliot?"

"He's good. I'm meeting him in half an hour. He sends his best," Olivia said, smiling back at her.

"Alex said I can go back to my old room tomorrow," Emma said. "He's coming tomorrow to determine my mental status."

"Congratulations," Olivia said. "I actually came by to talk to you about your room. I did some searching yesterday and found a tape player hidden in the ceiling. When we played it, it was designed to put someone in a trance, you know, like you could be hypnotized."

"Why would someone hypnotize me," Emma asked.

"I don't know. But, it does support the fact that you didn't try to kill yourself," Olivia said. "Em, I've talked with Huang and Alex. You're going to come stay with me for awhile."

"Really," the teenager asked, her face lighting up. "Why?"

"Because I don't want something like this to happen again," she said, taking her hand in hers. "But, since you will be out of the hospital, I need you to understand a few things. I have to work during the day, which means that you will be at my apartment alone. A nurse will come by and make sure you are taking your meds and a tutor will come by and help you with your studies. Dr. Huang will also be by everyday to meet with you."

"How long?"

"Until we can get this case figured out," Olivia said. "Emma, I need…in order for this to work, I need to know that you'll be okay. I know about the depression and I know about the schizophrenia, but I need to know that you will tell me if any of that begins to get worse. Can you do that?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding her head.

"Alright," Olivia said, "I have to get back to the station, but I will be back here tonight, to get you and take you to my place."

"Am I ready to be released," Emma asked, "It hasn't been that long since…" Her eyes drifted down to the cuts on her arm.

"You'll be fine. I wouldn't take you out of here so quickly if I thought it'd harm you. I can help change the bandages on your arms and a nurse will be with you most of the day," Olivia explained. She saw the uneasiness in Emma's eyes and touched her hand gently. "It'll be okay. I promise."

Emma nodded, suddenly feeling drowsy from the sedative. "Go to sleep," Olivia said gently. "I'll be back before you know it." Emma nodded, her eyes fluttering shut until finally, she was sound asleep.

Olivia walked into the station and caught Elliot's eye. He motioned to the stairs and she followed him out to the roof. "How was Emma," he asked, leaning against the rail.

"Fine," she said, "She's coming home with me tonight."

"You going to be able to care for her," he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Between the nurse coming to administer meds, Huang evaluating her psychiatric state, her tutor helping her catch up on her classes, she won't ever be alone," she explained.

"Good," he said, "Liv, what if we had her put under hypnosis?"

"Hypnosis? Why," she asked, walking over to him.

"It might help her remember what's been happening when she's been hypnotized in the past," he said. "It might help us know who's been doing this to her."

"El, if we put her through that, it could break her," Olivia said, her voice full of concern.

"And if we don't do it, it could kill her," he said. "Talk to her, see if she'll agree."

"She asked about you today."

"Why?" He studied her for a moment, his eyes meeting hers.

"Just said to say 'hi'. Shows she remembers and trusts you," she said, shrugging her shoulder.

"Lizzie and I are going to the zoo tomorrow. You think Emma would be up for that," he asked.

"I don't know. She gets frightened in public. I think it's been awhile since she's been around a lot of people. I talk to her though and see what she thinks," Olivia said. He smiled and nodded, squeezing her shoulder before heading downstairs.

Emma was sitting up on the bed, dressed in a pair of scrubs too large for her small frame and a large sweatshirt. They had stopped sedating her and the medication had started to wear off, but she was still bleary eyed when Olivia arrived.

"You ready to go," Olivia asked, shouldering the small bag the nurse had given her.

"Yeah," Emma said, standing up. Olivia held her hand out and Emma took it, holding tight.

"Are you hungry," Olivia asked as they walked out of the hospital.

"A little. The meds made me feel sick," Emma responded.

"Let's get you some soup and take it home to eat," Olivia said, rubbing her back gently.

Emma sat at the kitchen table, the bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of her. "C'me on Em, at least eat half," Olivia said softly. "It'll help you feel better to get something in your stomach."

"Okay," she muttered, taking another bite. "Will you be okay to sleep in the living room? The couch can pull out to a bed."

"That works for me," Emma said.

"My room's just down the hall. I'll have my door open, if you need anything. The nurse will be here first thing Monday morning. I'm taking the morning off on Monday to help you get situated with her," she said.

"You don't have to stay with me," Emma said.

"Em, I want to make sure you are comfortable with this nurse. If you're not, we'll find another one. Alex signed you into my care and I am going to make sure you get that care. And don't think for any instant that you are a burden, because you're not. Understand," Olivia asked, meeting the girl's eyes.

She nodded, pushing away the soup. "I'm sorry I can't eat more. I managed to eat at least half," Emma said, looking up at her guiltily.

"It's okay," she said, trying to reassure the teenager. "You ate as much as you could. You want to get a shower, then we can get you your nightly meds and change those bandages?"

"Okay," Emma said, getting up. She headed for the bathroom and after Olivia heard the shower turn on, she began to clean up the dishes.

Fifteen minutes later, she stepped out, her hair hanging in wet curls and wearing the same scrub pants and an oversized shirt. "You ready for me to wrap your bandages," Olivia asked, walking over to the couch with the bandages and medicine she had been given. She handed Emma the pills to take, along with a bottle of orange juice.

Olivia reached for her hand and she pulled it away, cradling it to her chest. "Emma, you didn't cause those scars and I won't judge you because of them," Olivia said. "Trust me, remember?"

Emma nodded and held out her wrists, the scars pointing up. Olivia had seen scars before, but seeing them on a teenager who had done nothing to deserve them stabbed deep at her heart. The scars were three inches long, with thick v-shaped stitches running down along bruised arms. She shook aside the tremor that threatened to run through her body and began to apply the medication the doctors had said would help prevent infection. She then wrapped the gauze around each arm, securing it tightly.

"Better," Olivia asked, brushing the hair from Emma's face. The teenager nodded, pulling her wrists away and cradling them against her chest. "Go brush your teeth. I'll make the bed up for you."

Emma nodded and went to the bathroom as told. When she returned, Olivia had the bed pulled out and made up, a pillow on the bed. Emma lay down on the bed, pulling the covers over herself. "Elliot called while you were in the shower. He and his daughter, Kathleen were talking about going to the zoo tomorrow. Are you up for that?" Olivia stretched out beside her, resting her arm around the girl's shoulder.

"I don't do public well," Emma whispered. "I haven't…it's been awhile."

"If me and Elliot are there, you'll be safe," Olivia said gently. "You'd like Lizzie She's your age and really nice."

"Do they have penguins there," Emma asked, looking up at her.

"Yeah, they do."

"Then I want to go."

"Alright," Olivia said, "Get some sleep, so we can meet them in the morning." Emma nodded, turning on her side and closing her eyes. Olivia stayed until the girl had fallen asleep, then went to her own bedroom.

"Emma, are you ready," Olivia called from the bathroom.

"Almost," the teenager replied. Olivia rinsed out her mouth, and walked out to the living room to see Emma wearing tattered jeans and an oversized flannel shirt.

"Looks like you need some new clothes. Let's see what I've got in my closet," Olivia said, motioning for the teenager to follow her.

She pulled out an old NYPD t-shirt she had outgrown and a long sleeved white shirt that fit close. She handed them to Emma, then pushed her towards the bathroom to change before searching through and finding a small green hooded zip-up sweatshirt for her to wear. Emma stepped out, the shirts still large for her small frame, but better fitting than the shirt she had been wearing. She slipped the sweatshirt on and zipped it up just as the doorbell rang.

Olivia answered the door, smiling when she saw Lizzie and Elliot on the other side. "Hi Liv," Lizzie said, reaching out to hug her.

"Hey sweetie," Olivia said, hugging her tight. "Lizzie, I'd like you to meet Emma. She'll be staying with me for awhile."

"It's nice to meet you," Lizzie said cheerfully. "I'm Liz." Olivia raised and eyebrow to Elliot over the teen's name change. He just shrugged and reached out to get the all outside the door.

Liz chattered on while they drove to the zoo, while Emma sat quietly, looking out the window. It'd been so long since she had been out of the hospital and allowed to do something simple, like visit the zoo. They arrived and Emma immediately reached for Olivia, who put her arm around the girl's shoulder and lead her into the zoo.

The day was cool and overcast, leaving the Bronx Zoo not as crowded for a Saturday. Emma loosened her hold on Olivia throughout the day, wandering up to the animals to examine them, but not leaving more than three feet from Olivia or Elliot. "Thanks for suggesting this. She seems to be doing better," Olivia said, walking with Elliot, the girls wandering over to look at the monkeys. Emma clutched a stuffed penguin close to her, a present from Elliot when he saw her eyes light up as they watched the penguins swim in their tank. Liz had a monkey hanging around her neck.

"No problem. The other kids have stuff going on. I was lucky to get Lizzie, or rather Liz, I should say." He snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the railing.

"What's with the name change?" She leaned next to them, giving Emma a reassuring smile as she looked over her shoulder to make sure she was still there.

"Who knows. Probably one of these things she goes through," he said, shrugging. Olivia opened her mouth, stopping when she heard a scream from Liz. She turned, running towards the girls and dropping to her knees next to Emma, who lay still and pale on the ground. "I think she just fainted," Olivia said, pressing her fingers to Emma's neck, relieved when she felt a fast, but strong pulse.

"Honey, what happened," Elliot asked, putting his hands on his daughter's shoulders.

"I…I don't know. One of the monkeys was swinging from branch to branch, then suddenly, all the color drained from her face and she fell," Liz said, her eyes wide as she stared at Emma's prone form.

"Elliot, please," Olivia asked, looking up at him. "Let's get her home." She took the penguin from Emma's arm as he picked her up and carried her to the car.

She winced as she opened her eyes, gasping as she pushed herself up in bed. "Hey," Olivia said, touching her shoulder, "It's okay. You're home now." Emma's eyes darted around the room, finally resting on the older woman's. "It's okay," Olivia repeated again.

Emma slowly caught her breath, then lay down, reaching for the penguin Olivia was holding out to her. "Wanna talk about it," Olivia asked, running a finger through the penguin's soft fur. Emma shook her head, her eyes trained on the stuff animal she clutched to her chest.

"You know, you ought to give this little guy a name," Olivia said, smiling softly at her.

"Moose," Emma said, speaking for the first time since they had left the zoo.

"That's a weird name for a penguin," Olivia teased. "Why Moose?"

"I just like the name," Emma said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Moose it is then," Olivia said.

"Where's Elliot and Liz," Emma asked, her eyes drifting up to hers.

"They went home. Elliot said he'd call later, to see how you were doing," Olivia said.

"I'm sorry I ruined our day," Emma said, her eyes drifting back down to the penguin.

"You didn't ruin it. You think you can talk to me about it?"

"It was the monkeys," she said softly, "They were swinging around on the branches, like he did once. He swung in and landed on the floor. He wore a suit…a white suit."

"Elliot and I know what kind of suit. It was a wind gliding suit. It puffs out to look like wings," Olivia said.

"Yeah, but there was more to it. I…the monkeys reminded me and it brought back a memory, but I…I can't remember what it was," Emma said.

"It's okay," Olivia said, "It's okay." She rubbed her arm gently, calming her again. "Maybe Huang will help you remember on Monday."

"Do I have to talk to him," Emma asked, looking up at her.

"Yeah, honey, you do. It's part of the agreement, remember? It's why you get to stay here, with me," Olivia said. "Honey, there's something...Elliot and I were thinking of asking Huang to hypnotize you, to help you remember."

"No!" She shot off the bed, her eyes wide as she backed herself against the wall. Her chest heaved as tears filled her eyes, her penguin clutched to her chest.

"Emma, honey, calm down and let me explain," Olivia said, reaching out for her.

"But, that's how they…how I was…," she fell down to her knees, locking her arms around her knees and rocking back and forth. "You can't. I'll get hurt. I won't do it."

"It'll help you remember," Olivia said, kneeling in front of her.

"I don't want to remember," Emma whispered. She looked up, tears reflecting bright in her eyes. "I just want to forget everything."

"They hurt you, honey and whoever has done this needs to be punished. If we're able to figure out who did this, we can put them in jail and they won't ever be able to hurt you or anyone again," Olivia said. "I promise no one will hurt you or use this to cause you to harm yourself. Elliot, Huang and I will be there the entire time. People you trust will be there." She took a deep breath, settling herself on the floor across from Olivia.

"Emma, I know this isn't easy and you've been through more than anyone your age should ever have to go through," Olivia said gently. "But if we do this, it'll help us figure out what has happened to you and you can begin to heal. Please Emma, I'm asking you to trust us. Can you do that?"

"You and Elliot will be there," Emma asked, sniffling.

"Every minute," Olivia said, squeezing her arm.

"And we can do it here," Emma asked.

"Yeah, we can do it here."

"Then I'll do it." She looked up, letting Olivia settle next to her and pull her close, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"Thank you," Olivia said gently.


	11. Chapter 11

Emma sat in the chair closest to Olivia, her eyes trained on Huang as he setup the camera that would be recording the session. "You doing okay," Olivia asked, reaching over to squeeze her hand gently.

Emma nodded, her hold on Moose tightening. "I think we're set," Huang said, "You ready?"

Emma nodded again, letting go of Olivia's hand and wrapping her arms around the stuff penguin. "I'm going to use the tape that was used on you in the past," Huang explained, "If we sense that you are at all in danger to yourself, we will pull you out of the hypnosis. Do you have any questions before we begin?"

"No," Emma whispered.

"Okay," Huang said, looking to Olivia for confirmation. She nodded slightly to Huang, who pressed the button on the tape player.

Emma's eyes shut as the voice whispered, Elliot and Olivia, having already placed earplugs to block out the sound of the tape. When he pressed stop, they removed the plugs.

"Emma, can you hear me," Huang asked.

"Yes." Her voice was soft and sleepy, her head falling to the side of the sofa.

"Where are you?"

"In my room."

"In the hospital?"

"Yes."

"He probably had this as a setting for instructions," Huang softly explained to Olivia and Elliot.

"Emma, think back to a week ago, when you cut yourself," he instructed.

Olivia watched as she jerked in the chair, her eyes flitting up to Huang's. He nodded, letting Emma settle before continuing. "Where are you now," he asked gently.

"In my room, laying down. I see the ceiling. The door's opening."

"Who enters," Huang asked. Olivia subconsciously took a deep breath, her hand reaching for Elliot's, who squeezed her hand tightly.

"A man….I can't…he's wearing a mask," Emma said, squirming in the seat.

"Do you know him," Huang asked.

"Yes," she said, her arms tightening around the penguin.

"Who is he," Huang asked.

"I don't know. His...I can smell his cologne. It's strong." She started to struggle, fighting in the chair.

"Emma, calm down," Huang said.

"Pull her out of it," Olivia said.

"Emma, focus on your room, before he came in," Huang said, "I need you to focus on my voice."

"I…he's oh God, there's a knife and he's…I'm cutting me," she shouted, tears falling down her face. "Please make him stop!"

"Emma, you'll wake up in…three, two, one." Her eyes shot open and she bent over, vomiting all over the chair and her pants, her body heaving. Olivia jumped up and rubbed her back gently, whispering softly to her. She glanced at Elliot, as she helped Emma off the chair and got her down to the bathroom.

She returned ten minutes later, after having made sure that Emma was in the shower. She saw that Elliot had cleaned up the vomit and was working on removing the stains from the chair. "Leave it," she said, "I'll it to get cleaned."

"Emma okay," he asked, pushing himself up to face her.

"Yeah," she said, "That was…interesting."

"Whatever it was that she saw must have scared her or revolted her so much that it caused that reaction," Huang said, dismantling the camera. "Olivia, I don't want to try that again for at least a week. If we continue, it could do irreparable damage to her mind. She needs time to rest." Olivia nodded, sighing as she sat down on the couch. "I'll talk to Emma and make sure she's okay before heading out."

She nodded again, looking at her clasped hands. "I want to help her, Elliot. I want her to get better and be a normal teenager, but I feel like everything I do just makes it worse," Olivia said, looking over at him.

"You've helped her more than you know," Elliot said, putting a hand on her back. "The fact that she's here, in your apartment and agreed to go through the hypnosis says a lot. She's getting better, Liv, and it's because of you." She looked up to meet his eyes and he gave her a soft smile.

Emma slept quietly on the couch, her head in Olivia's lap and her legs curled up by Elliot. A movie played on the television, but Elliot could tell that Olivia's attention wasn't on it. She ran her hand through Emma's tousled curls as the teenager slept, comforting her in her sleep. He had seen her get attached to children, but with Emma it was different. He knew that Olivia was fighting her own demons, along with Emma's.

"You need a break," he said softly.

"I'm fine," she said, looking over at him.

"I could have Maureen and Kathleen come over and watch her. Might do her some good to have other teenagers around her," he offered quietly. "They could come over or we could meet them for lunch tomorrow, to get Emma acquainted with Maureen."

"El," she started to say. She was interrupted by Emma shifting, burying her face against her stomach.

"Liv, it'd just be a few hours. You've been working with her non-stop since this case. Take the night off," he said.

"I have been wanting to see more of Alexei," she admitted softly. She looked up and for a moment, saw the crest fallen look on his face, which he quickly hid with a smile. She felt a familiar pang in her heart; one she always felt when it came to Elliot. She knew he cared for her, as more than partners or friends, but neither dared admit it for fear of rejection or destroying the relationship they already had. And truth was, she cared for Alexei too, but their relationship had always been poorly timed.

"Then go out with him," he said, "I can stay with the girls."

"I'm not taking the night off, if you don't," she said, "You're just as worn out as I am."

"Alright," he said, smiling softly at her. "I'll call Maureen and see what we can arrange. "

Olivia clipped her earring in, smiling to herself when she heard the girls talking in the living room. Maureen and Kathleen had stayed after lunch with Emma, while Olivia got ready. She thanked God that Emma got along well with them, and had consented to staying with Maureen and Kathleen while Olivia went out with Alex.

She stepped out of her bedroom, Pulling the long black and red plaid dress coat over the red silk dress she wore. She cinched the belt around her waist and slid into the black heels, looking herself over in the mirror. It'd been a month since the first time they had gone out and while she wasn't ready to date Alexei during the case, she didn't want to lose him afterwards, either. With a final spray of perfume, she grabbed her handbag and walked into the living room.

"Wow, Liv, nice dress," Maureen said, looking up with a smile. "This Alexei's gonna be a lucky guy."

"We're just friends," Olivia insisted, but the blush on her face gave her away. "I see the pizza made it here."

"It's good," Emma said, around a mouthful.

"Just be sure to clean up," Olivia said, tucking a piece of hair behind Emma's hair. "I'll have my cell phone on me the entire time and the number to the restaurant is on the fridge, if you need anything. I'll probably be home around ten."

"Take your time," Maureen said, "We'll be fine. Right, Em?"

"Yeah," Emma said, grinning at Olivia.

"Alright," Olivia said, "Em, you sure you're okay with this."

"I'm fine," Emma said, nodding her head. "We're staying here and all the doors will be locked and we have yours and Elliot's numbers. He said he'd call every hour to check in."

"Okay," Olivia said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'll see you in a few. Behavior yourself." Emma grinned and watched her leave before grabbing another piece of pizza.

"You look beautiful," Alexei said, helping Olivia with her jacket when they arrived at the restaurant.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the gentle kiss he gave her. "And thank you for taking me out tonight."

"I thought you needed a break, and who am I turn down a request with a beautiful woman," he asked, giving her a smile. She rolled her eyes at his cheesy statement, accepting the glass of wine that was offered to her. "How is Emma doing?"

"Better. The hypnosis session didn't go well. She could see who had been this to her, but the she started panicking and snapped out of it, vomiting everywhere," she said, "She doesn't remember much from the session now. Huang wants to wait a week before trying again." She saw the troubled look on his face and smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand gently. "Enough about Emma, though. How have you been this week?"

"Good," he said, smiling at her. He took her hand in his and they talked about college and what had happened since.

She moaned as he nipped at the spot behind her ear, kissing it gently, before kissing her jaw and moving on to her lips. She sighed, deepening the kiss and pulling his shoulders back so he lay on top of her. "I've missed you so much," he whispered, kissing her neck.

She moaned as he slid his hand up her red silk dress, slipping his hand between the fabric of her underwear and her skin. He smiled, touching her center and pulled back to see the desire in her eyes. "Liv, are you sure about this," he asked, looking in her eyes. She nodded, pulling back and kissed him gently.

Olivia looked herself over in her compact mirror, making sure she didn't look like she had just had sex with someone. Handing the cab driver money, she slipped out and went upstairs to the apartment. All of the lights were off and all three girls were sound asleep on the pull out bed. She grabbed an extra blanket from the closet and tucked it over them, leaning over to kiss Emma gently on the forehead. She pulled away in surprise though, when Emma curled into a ball, scrunching her face up in her sleep and burying her head towards Maureen. Shrugging it off as a bad dream, she tucked the covers over her and went to her own bed.

Olivia found Emma sitting at the kitchen table the next morning, working on her math homework. "Sleep okay last night," Olivia asked, ruffling her hair as she passed her on her way to the kitchen.

"Yeah," Emma said, "How was your night with Alexei?"

"Good," she said, "How was the night with Maureen and Kathleen?"

"Great," Emma said, "We watched movies and Katie painted my nails." She held her nails up and Olivia smiled, opening the fridge to pull out the milk.

"Sounds like fun," Olivia said, "Pancakes okay?"

"With chocolate chips," Emma requested. Olivia nodded, moving around the kitchen to get the needed supplies for pancakes.

"You have a bad dream last night," Olivia asked, pouring the dry batter into a bowl.

"No," Emma called back. "Why?"

"I tried to kiss you goodnight and you pulled away like you were having a bad dream," Olivia said.

"Sorry," Emma said, getting up. Olivia slid her arm around Emma, hugging her tight.

"You working on your homework," Olivia asked, patting her gently. She pulled away and poured the batter onto the griddle, watching as it sizzled.

"Yeah," Emma said, "Can you check it when I'm done? I want to make sure it's alright for tomorrow."

"Go finish it up and I'll check it this afternoon," Olivia said, flipping the pancake over. Emma nodded and ran off to finish her homework.

Elliot came over around eight, bearing chinese food, which made Emma happy. They ate dinner, with Emma going to sleep early in Olivia's bedroom. "Did you have a good night with Alexei," Elliot asked, resting his feet on the table.

"Yeah," she said with a soft smile. "It was nice." He knew by the soft blush on her face and her relaxed demeanor that she had slept with him. It broke his heart to know her so well and not be able and be with her. "How was your night?"  
"Good. Went and saw a movie with the twins," he said, "Liz, as she goes by now, made the basketball team."

"Good for her," Olivia said, grinning at him. "Em's been keeping her nightmares from me again."

"Why do you think that," Elliot asked, looking over at her.

"I went to kiss her goodnight last night and she pulled away. I asked her about it today, but she denied it," Olivia said, running her hands through her hair.

"Could be something else," he suggested with a shrug. "I mean, given her past, it may be a nightmare she doesn't remember."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she said, resting her head on her hand. "How's it going with Kathy?"

"We finalize the divorce in a few weeks," he said softly. "I get the kids on some weekends, holidays…they'll be living with her most of the time."  
"I'm so sorry," she said, reaching down and taking his hand in hers.

"It's for the better," he said, "She can be home with them more than I can."

"El, you're a good father. Don't think otherwise," she said, "I see how your kids look at you. They adore you and Em…she's crazy about you. You're the only male I've ever seen her completely trust."

"Thanks," he said, squeezing her hand gently. She smiled, looking down at their clasped hands."I better get going. Have to be in early."

"I'll be in around ten. Just want to make sure that Emma adjusts to the tutor alright," Olivia said, standing up with him.

"Okay," he said, "I'll see you in the morning." She let go of his hand and opened the door, her eyes meeting his for a moment. He saw her eyebrow flick and her mouth open slightly and his heart fluttered.

"Drive safely," she finally said, giving him a half smile.

"Yeah," he said, returning the smile. She shut the door behind him, then walked over to the window, watching as he climbed into his car and drove off. With a sigh, she shut off the lights and went to her room, climbing into bed next to Emma.

"C'me on Em, your nurse will be here soon," Olivia said, walking from the kitchen towards the bedroom.

The teenager groaned, dragging into the living room and flopping down on the couch. She curled into a ball, clutching Moose to her chest. Her eyes flicked to the callbox as it rang and Olivia went to press the button to let the nurse up.

"You must be Detective Benson," a perky young woman said. "I'm Julia Winters, the nurse from the hospital."

"It's nice to meet you. This is Emma," Olivia said, motioning to the teenager.

"Emma, nice to meet you," Julia said brightly, "I'm Julia." Emma shrank back further in the couch.

"Em, c'me on now. You promised. I don't want you to have to go back to the hospital," Olivia said, sitting on the shoulder of the couch. She ran her hand through her hair, calming the teenager. "I've got to finish getting ready, so sit here and talk with Julia for awhile." She patted her back gently, then went into her bedroom to get ready.

"How'd Emma take to her nurse," Elliot asked as Olivia walked in.

"It took awhile, but they were getting along when I left," she said, sitting down at her desk. "Have we got anything today?"

"Just waiting on lab results," he said. She nodded, reaching for one of the several piles of paperwork, glad for a slow day.


	12. Chapter 12

Emma was sitting quietly by the window sill when she got home, her eyes focused on something Olivia couldn't see. "How was she," Olivia asked Julia, pulling off her jacket and scarf before hanging them up.

"Fine," Julia said, "She worked on her homework with her tutor, then I went to get some lunch while Alexei stayed with her for awhile. She was a little anxious this morning, but she was just fine after lunch."

"That's good," Olivia said, walking over to Emma. "Will you back tomorrow?'

"Yeah. We managed to settle it so I'll be the main nurse working with Emma," Julia said, tugging on her jacket. "I'll be by tomorrow at the same time."

"Okay," Olivia said, "Have a good night."

"You too, Ms. Benson," Julia said. Olivia watched her leave, then sat down beside Emma, watching her look out the window.

"Whatcha lookin' at," Olivia asked softly.

"Just watching," Emma said, looking over at her with a soft smile. Olivia smiled back, reaching over to brush some wayward strands from her face. "Can we go to the park?"

"It's getting cold outside," Olivia said, looking at the people who hugged their jackets closer to their bodies.

"I don't care. Please," Emma asked, "I've been stuck in here all day."

"Go get a sweater on," Olivia said, finally giving in. Emma grinned and hopped up, running for her bedroom and threw on a zip up sweater.

Olivia sat next to Emma on the swings, watching as the teenager swung high in the air, the cool breeze running through her auburn curls. She smiled softly, lifting her own legs and pumping herself into the air. She reached Emma's height, grinning as the girl pushed herself further and further in the air, finally jumping off and landing in the sand. Olivia jumped to, landing with a grunt and laughing as she rolled over on her back in the sand. "You hungry," Olivia asked, propping herself up and looking at Emma, who was still on her back and laughing.

"Yeah," Emma said, turning her head to face her.

"Alright," Olivia said. "Girl's night? Or should we invite Elliot?"

"Mmmm, just girls, then maybe he can come over for a movie," Emma said, pushing herself up and brushing herself off.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Olivia said, getting up and brushing her hands on her jeans.

"How did your tutoring go today," Olivia asked as they sat down at their table to wait for their food.

"It was good," Emma said, "Finally got to proofs today."

"That's great," Olivia said, "Did you have a good session with Alexei?"

"Alexei didn't come today," Emma said, taking a sip of her coke. She looked around, blinking, a confused look clouding her face as she looked out the window.

"I talked to him earlier today and he said you two talked for quite awhile," Olivia said, confusion clouding her face.

"He didn't," Emma said, shaking her head, "Jules was with me the whole day." She looked down as the pager buzzed, letting them know their burgers were ready. "I'll go get the food!" Olivia watched as she bounced up and ran over to the counter to retrieve their meal.

Elliot sat next to Olivia, the movie flickering dimly on the screen. Emma was crashed out next to Olivia, her head in her lap. Olivia absentmindedly ran her fingers through her hair, her attention focused elsewhere. Elliot looked over and saw her staring blankly at the screen and reached over to touch her hand. "Wanna talk about what's on your mind," he asked gently.

"I had a late lunch today with Alexei. He said he and Emma had a good morning session," she said.

"Then what's the problem," he asked, turning to face her.

"Emma said he didn't come by today." Olivia said, looking down at Emma as she slept. She reached back and pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and covered Emma gently with it.

"Why would he…or she lie?" He stretched his arm out along the back of the couch, twisting so she could g et comfortable against him.

"I don't know," she said, shrugging. "She was happy today, though. We went to the park and got dinner…she didn't shy away once."

"Maybe she just needed to get away from that place," Elliot said.

"Maybe. Still doesn't explain the thing with Alexei," Olivia said. "I'll probably talk to Jules tomorrow, see what she says." He nodded, watching as she yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

"I should get going. Need help getting Em to bed," he asked, shifting away from the couch.

"I'm awake," Emma said sleepily, moving away from Olivia's lap and pushing herself up. "El leaving?"

"Yeah," Elliot said, "Head on to bed. Maybe we can go to lunch later on during the week."

"Okay," Emma said, yawning. She sleepily held her arms out, hugging him before reaching for Moose and dragging herself off to her bed.

Elliot smiled, watching her leave and reached for his jacket, shrugging it on. "You okay to drive tonight," Olivia asked, noticing his sluggish movements.

"Yeah," he said, "Just tired. You good for the night?"

"Yeah," she said, "See you tomorrow."

"See you." He paused for a moment, studying her as she hugged her sweater closer, to ward off the chill of hallway. Her hair fell in loose waves around her face, her eyes soft with sleep. He felt his heart race as his eyes met hers, then a sharp pain when he thought of her with Alexei.

"El, you okay," Olivia asked, noticing his pause.

"Yeah," he said, "Just got lost in thought. I'll see you tomorrow." She nodded, watching him go with a curious glance, closing the door behind him and locking the door securely.

Julia arrived early the next morning to find Olivia mostly ready to go and Emma at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and reading Hamlet. "You look pretty intense there, kiddo," Julia said, sitting across from her.

"Just reading," Emma said with a shrug. "I like this book."

"I brought the movie to watch this afternoon," Julia said. "Your teacher wanted to borrow it to show you."

"Cool," Emma said, looking up.

"Julia, could I speak to you for a minute," Olivia asked, walking out of her bedroom. The nurse nodded and walked back to the older woman's room.

"Julia, did Alexei come by yesterday," Olivia asked, turning to the younger nurse.

"Yeah," Julia said, "He came around eleven and stayed with Em while I had lunch with a friend."

"Okay," Olivia said, running her hand through her hair.

"Why? Did something happen," Julia asked, crossing her arms and chewing on her lip.

"Emma told me yesterday that he didn't come by," Olivia said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Maybe she forgot," Julia suggested.

"She seemed pretty adamant about it," Olivia said, reaching for her jacket. "Let me know if something else happens today, she forgets something or anything out of the oridinary. Call my cell the minute something out of the norm happens. Okay?"

"Yeah. Not a problem," Julia said. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. I just want to make sure the medicine's not making her black out periods of time," Olivia said, half telling the truth. Julia nodded, following Olivia out of the bedroom and back into the kitchen.

"You going to be late tonight," Emma asked, looking up at Olivia as she entered.

"Nope," Olivia said, "You, Elliot and I re going to see a movie with Liz and Dickie. You up for being in public tonight?"

"I think so," Emma said with a shrug.

"Good," Olivia said, running her hands through Emma's hair. "I've gotta get to work. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay," Emma said, hugging Olivia around her waist. Olivia pressed a kiss to her forehead and grabbed her gun and badge before heading out the door.

"Julia said Alexei did show up yesterday," Olivia said, sitting down at her desk.

"And Em still saying he didn't," Elliot asked, leaning back, his hands clasped behind his head.

"Yeah," Olivia said. "I don't know why she would lie."

"Maybe it's the meds," Elliot suggested.

"Maybe, but she's been on this new stuff for a few weeks now," Olivia said, turning her computer on.

"She meet with Huang this week?"

"Tomorrow. Maybe he can figure this out," Olivia said, sighing. "What've we got today?"

"Interviewing a vic," Elliot said, "Speaking of which, we better head out." Olivia nodded, grabbing her jacket and following Olivia out the door.

Julia listened from the kitchen as Alexei spoke with Emma in his soft and calming voice. She got up and stirred the soup in the pot before returning to the kitchen table to read her book.

She shook awake, her heart racing as she sat up, sniffing the air. Turning to the stove, she saw the soup had burned to the bottom of the pot. Cursing under her breath, she turned the stove off and began to rinse out the rest, leaving it to soak with soap. She walked into the living room and found Emma sitting at the table quietly, working on her homework.

"Alexei leave," Julia asked, stretching.

"Yeah," Emma said, looking up. "Is lunch ready yet? I thought I smelled something burning."

"Yeah. I must've fallen asleep," Julia said. "You want to run out and get some pizza? I could use some air."

"Could we spend the afternoon in the park? We don't have to stay long, wince it's getting cold," Emma said.

"Yeah," Julia said, "A picnic would be good. Go get a jacket on and I'll get a blanket for us." Emma nodded eagerly and went to put on a sweater for the park.

They sat on the blanket, eating sandwiches and drinking hot tea to ward off the afternoon chill. "So Em, you like living with Olivia," Julia asked, stretching out next to her on the blanket.

"Yeah. It beats the hospital, and she's nice," Emma said.

"Have you been doing alright? I mean, with the meds and everything," Julia asked.

"I guess so," Emma said, shrugging. She reached for half of her sandwich and took a bite, a thoughtful look on her face.

"You guess so? What's that mean?"

"I dunno. I just…I feel like there's these gaps on time, where I can't remember stuff," Emma said, looking down at her sandwich.

"Has this happened recently," Julia asked, straightening up.

"I don't remember yesterday," Emma said softly.

"What do you mean," Julia asked, reaching over and touching her hand gently. Emma recoiled slightly, then relaxed, taking another bite of her sandwich.

"I mean, I remember Olivia leaving and reading with Sarah for class. I remember you leaving, to meet a friend for lunch, then nothing until I went to dinner with Olivia," Emma said, wrapping the rest of her sandwich up and setting it aside.

"Did you talk to Olivia about this," Julia asked, cocking her head to the side.

"No," Emma said softly.

"Em, she needs to know about stuff like this. You've never been afraid to talk to her before," Julia pointed out gently.

"I know," Emma said, looking down.

"Finish lunch, then we'll read for awhile," Julia said, nudging a container of fruit towards Emma. Emma took the fruit and opened the container, taking out a few pieces and chewing slowly.

Olivia arrived home at a quarter past five to find Julia pacing nervously in the living room. "Hey, everything okay," Olivia asked, putting her keys on the table.

"You might want to talk to Emma," Julia said, walking up to her.

"Why? Is she okay? Did something happen?" She quickly shed off her jacket, wallet and gun, heading quickly for Emma's room, stopping when she felt the young woman touch her arm.

"Just…when you talk to her? The same thing happened to me," Julia said softly. She saw the confusion in Olivia's eyes and let go of her arm before shrugging on her jacket and leaving.

Olivia found Emma laying huddled up on her bed, a blanket wrapped tight around her. "Hey," Olivia said softly. "Julia said you wanted to talk to me." She reached out and touched Emma's back gently, recoiling when Emma pulled away from her. "C'me on honey, talk to me."

"You'll be mad at me," Emma said, her voice shaking with emotion. Olivia sighed, laying down next to Emma and reaching over to turn her facing herself. She brushed the hair from her face gently and tilted her chin up to face her. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I didn't talk to you," Emma said softly.

"Do I look mad to you," Olivia said, keeping her voice gentle. She sought out her eyes with her own, letting out a small sigh of relief when she saw Emma's eyes meet her own.

"No," Emma said, uncurling a little.

"Then talk to me," Olivia said, her voice pleading. Emma's eyes dropped as she pulled herself closer to Olivia's body. "Please, talk to me honey. You're scaring me." She pressed her cheek to Emma's hair, holding her close and rubbing her back gently.

"I don't remember yesterday," Emma said, her voice so soft Olivia strained to hear it.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't remember anything from when Julia left until you and I were at dinner last night," Emma said. "Nine hours that are gone. It was light when I blacked out and when we were at dinner, it was dark." Olivia felt wetness against her skin and rubbed Emma's back as she cried against her, then loosened her grip as Emma tilted her head up to look at her. "What happened during that time?"

"Alexei came and visited you," Olivia began to explain, "You spent a couple of hours with him, then Julia came back and you were with her until I got home at a little past five. Then, you and I went to the park and dinner."

"Nothing bad happened," Emma asked, looking up at her.

"Nothing bad happened," Olivia said, trying to reassure her. "Honey, it might be the medication you're on. We'll talk to George tomorrow. Maybe he can help you figure this out?"

"Can he help me remember," Emma asked, her head tilting up to face her. "I mean, something…anything…aside from the hypnosis." Olivia paused, stroking Emma's face gently while she thought. Her mind drifted to the drip they had recently given a girl in their case to help her remember her actions during a drug trip.

"Liv?" Emma's soft voice broke her out of her thoughts and she looked down to see the teenager studying her quietly. "There's another way…isn't there?"

"Yeah," Olivia said, running her hand along her cheek. "I'll need to talk to George first, though, to make sure it won't hurt you."

"I don't care. If it'll help me remember, then I want to do it. I don't care if it'll hurt me," Emma said, her voice suddenly strong and defiant.

"What good is it if it'll kill you," Olivia asked, her eyes meeting Emma's in a stare.

"When are we supposed to meet Elliot and his kids," Emma asked, changing the subject.

"We're not going. Katie's Liz and Dickie both came down with something at school today," Olivia said. "We'll go another night. However, I thought you and I could go see a movie instead. You up for that?" Emma nodded, climbing off the bed to change and get ready.

Olivia lay on the bed, listening to Emma rustle around and get ready. She felt a heaviness in her heart as she thought about putting Emma on drugs to help her remember and absolute dread at what the teen might really remember.


	13. Chapter 13

Emma sat in the chair, a heart monitor hooked up to her finger and an IV running down her arm. "What's going to happen once they put the medication in," she asked, her eyes bouncing from George to Olivia.

"You'll feel sleepy," George said, "I'll be able to talk to you and you'll respond to my questions."

"Will I remember any of this?" She shifted, clutching her stuffed penguin closer and winced as it moved her IV line.

"You okay," Olivia asked, noticing her pained look.

"Yeah. Just hit the IV," Emma said, settling back down. She watched as the nurse walked in, carrying a needle, her eyes growing wider as she approached.

"Em, are you ready," George asked, taking position next to her. She nodded, watching as the nurse put the needle to the IV and injected the medication. Emma reached for Olivia's hand, relaxing slightly when she felt Olivia take her hand and squeeze gently. She tried to open her eyes, but struggled in doing so. She heard Olivia talking, then a blanket cover her as she slipped off to sleep. Olivia felt the grasp Emma had on her hand loosen, but still had a tight hold on her hand.

"Em, can you hear me," Huang asked, sitting next to her.

"Yes," Emma's sleepy voice replied.

"Where are you," he asked in a soft and gentle voice.

"In my room at the hospital." She swallowed, her fingers reflexively moving in Olivia's gasp. "It's dark and cold outside. There's snow falling. I'm laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling."

"Do you remember what you did during the day," Huang asked. Olivia saw his eyes flick up to the heart monitor, watching to see her heart beat pick up a little.

"I had a session with Dr. Williams and Alexei. The nurse gave me my meds, then I was hooked up to an IV for lunch and dinner. I couldn't eat solid foods," Emma said, "The medication made me sick."

"Okay," he said, "Your sessions with the doctors. What happened?"

"First was Dr. Williams," Emma said, "He talked to me for awhile and gave me my meds. He change the dose."

"Why did he change it," George asked

"I don't…I don't know." She shifted, wincing as she struggled to think. "He said…he said it was supposed to help me. I don't remember much from those days. I slept a lot."

"Let's talk about the first time you were raped," George said gently.

Emma's eyes closed tighter and she began to struggle, calming only when Olivia grasped her arm gently, careful of the IV. "Emma, listen to me. Who's in the room," George asked.

"I'm…he's on me, I can't…," she struggled, arching her back against an invisible enemy.

"Who's on you, Emma," George asked, keeping his voice strong and steady.

"He is," she said, tears streaming down her face. "It hurts so much. Please..stop!" Olivia turned to George, her eyes pleading, but knowing they needed to get through this at the same time.

"Who is it," George asked again, shouting over the teen's screams and cries. Emma shook her head, her face crumpling as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Please stop. Make him stop." Her words came out in a plea as her back arched and her eyes shot open, bulging from her head. Suddenly, her body went lax and Olivia began to slowly let out the breath she had been holding until she heard the heart monitor Emma was hooked up to begin to slow it's beeping, flatting into a long, monotone beep as she flatlined, her grip on Olivia's hand letting go. She looked to George and stood up, hitting Emma gently on the cheek to wake her up. Her heart raced in her chest as she shook Emma, desperate to see the teen open her eyes or take a breat.

"Emma," George asked, reaching out and touching her hand.

"Em? Wake up," Olivia shouted. "C'me on Em!"

"We need a cart," George shouted as nurses began to flood the room.

Elliot reached out and grabbed Olivia by the arms, pulling her back as nurses and doctors surrounded the teenager. She fought against him, rushing to Emma's side, only to have a nurse hold her back. Tears fell down her face as she let Elliot pull her out of the room and wrapped his arms tight around her as the door shut to Emma's room.

She buried her face against his neck, clutching at his shirt as she finally let go of the tears she had been holding back as he rubbed her back, calming her gently. Finally, she pulled away, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry," she said, looking back to the still shut door, "I just…"

"It's okay," he said, rubbing her arm gently. "You don't have to explain yourself. This has been a lot to go through." She nodded, sniffling and looking up as the door opened and a nurse stepped out.

"I assume that you're with Emma Hayes," the nurse said, looking from Elliot to Olivia.

"Yes," Olivia said, "How is she?"

"A doctor will be out to see you in a few," the nurse said, walking away with a clipboard. Elliot clenched his jaw, then calmed as Olivia took his arm and lead him over to seats facing Emma's room.

An hour passed, with Olivia's eyes never leaving the door leading to the room Emma was in for an instant. Elliot paced nearby, sitting down next to her, only to stand a moment later.

Finally, the door opened and Huang stepped out, running his hands through his hair in exhaustion. "How is she," Olivia asked, standing up and walking over to him. She felt Elliot's hand rest on the small of her back, rubbing gently with his thumb.

"She's not responding," Huang said, "Her heart rate has leveled out and is holding, she's breathing on her own, her brain waves show no damage, but she's not responding to anything the doctors have given her to wake up. Essentially, it's like she's comatose."

Olivia and Elliot fell silent, shock washing over both of them. "Do they know why? She was fine, until…," her voice faded off as tears rose to her eyes as reality set it.

"No, they don't know why," Huang said, "Whatever she saw may have triggered her body to go into shock. The doctors have her on monitors right now and report she's stable, just not responsive."

"Can we see her," Elliot asked, moving his hand to Olivia's shoulder and squeezing gently.

"Yes," Huang said, moving to let them in the room.

Olivia quietly entered the room, trying to prepare herself for the sight before her. She lay silent on the bed, the only wires hooked up to her were an IV and a heart monitor. She had been changed into a thin medical gown, her red hair falling over her shoulders in tousled curls. To Olivia, it looked like the teenager was sleeping. She reached out with a shaking hand and brushed the hair from Emma's face, pressing her lips to her forehead, pulling away when she felt how chilled the girl's skin was.

"She's cold," Olivia said, moving away and grabbing an extra blanket to put over her. She tucked it securely around Emma, sitting down on the edge of the bed and took her hand in hers. Elliot stood quietly for a moment, studying Olivia watching over the teenager quietly.

"I shouldn't have pushed her," she whispered.

"You didn't push her. She wanted this," Elliot said, keeping his voice soft. "We had no way of knowing this would happen."

"I promised to protect her and all I did was hurt her," Olivia said, her eyes not leaving the teenager for an instant.

"You helped her," Elliot said, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder gently. "More than you know." She nodded, reaching out and brushing her hand along Emma's cheek, brushing strands of hair behind her ear.

Elliot turned as the door opened and a nurse walked in, clipboard in hand. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over," she said, looking from Elliot to Olivia. He looked to Olivia, who pressed a kiss to Emma's head and tucked the covers tighter around her and following Elliot out the door.

He pulled up to the curb of her place, turning off the engine and looked over at her. "Stay the night," she asked, turning to him. He saw the sadness in her eyes and without hesitation, he nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of car.

She keyed into her apartment quietly, hanging her jacket on the hook and headed towards her bedroom, leaving Elliot in the living room. He went into her bathroom and pulled out two sleeping pills he knew she kept for the odd occasion when they had a hard case. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, he wandered into her bedroom, where he found her sitting on the bed, her hair pulled back and wearing a tank top and yoga pants.

"Here," he said, shaking her out of her thoughts. He handed her the sleeping pills and the bottle of water, watching as she took them without question and drank half the bottle, handing the rest to him.

"I'll get everything out of the closet and sleep on the couch," Elliot said, watching as she lay down on top of the bed. He turned to leave, then stopped when he heard her soft voice.

"El? Will you…stay with me tonight?" He turned and without a word, toed off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt and slacks, climbing on the bed next to her. He tugged the blanket at the foot of her bed over the both of them and turned on his side, letting her spoon up against him, her back to his front. Wrapping his arm securely around her, he felt her relax and her breathing slow. Rubbing her arm gently, he rested his nose against her neck and fell asleep.

He woke up to an empty bed the next morning, the cold sheets revealing that Olivia must have been up for awhile. He walked out into the living room and found her sitting on the couch, a cup of coffee in her hands and staring into space.

"I already called the hospital. There's been no change," she said, glancing up when he walked in.

"How long've you been up," he asked, heading to the kitchen.

"About an hour," she said, "Couldn't sleep."

"Sleep pills should've lasted another hour." He poured himself a cup of coffee and joined her on the couch.

"I want to bring Alexei in for questioning today," she said quietly.

"Liv, are you sure about that," he asked, looking over at her. "I know that you two have been…involved with each other."

"I haven't talked to him since the night I came home and Emma turned away from me," Olivia said, "I slept with him that night. She smelled him on me. I didn't think about it until we were at the hospital and she said she could smell him. It makes me sick to think about it and as much as I'm praying I'm wrong, a part wants me to be right. And if he raped her, so God help me…I'm not fit to be around her."

"That's not your fault. This isn't your fault," he said, taking her cup from her hands and taking her hands in his. "I want you to be wrong too. He's made you happy, Liv. Happier than I've seen you in awhile and while the evidence does seem against him, she hasn't shied away from him."

"She did, once," Olivia said. "Julia told me about it, but I didn't think much of it at the time. God, if I had only listened."

"You did," he said, letting go over her hands and gulping down the rest of his coffee. "I'm heading home to change, then head to work. Want me to pick you up?"

"I'll work with Casey to get a warrant," she said, taking his cup and heading to the kitchen. "Hey El?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…for everything."

"Anytime." He gave her a half smile, then left her apartment, keys in hand.

He met her at their desks, another cup of coffee in his hand. The way the day was shaping up, he knew she would need it. "You ready to go pick him up," Elliot asked, not even pulling off his jacket.

"Yeah," she said, tugging her jacket on. She grabbed the cup of coffee and followed him out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

She was still in ICU, laying still and quiet in the bed. A monitor was hooked up to her finger and gave off a steady beat. Her penguin, Moose, lay next to her. Olivia sat in the chair and reached for the teen's hand, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry, Emma," she whispered, "I wasn't listening to you and I'm so, so sorry." She wiped the tears in her eyes and brushed a along the girl's forehead, pushing the hair away from her eyes. "Honey, you need to wake up so we can get to the bottom of this. Please honey, please wake up." A knock on the door caught her attention and she looked up to see Elliot in the doorway.

"Hey," she said, wiping the tear away. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said, "Just wanted to come see how Em was doing."

"No change," she said, looking back to the teen. "She's breathing on her own, but they still have her hooked up to a feeding tube. The think she was allergic to the drug. When she began to panic, it caused her heart rate to raise and pump the drug through her system at a higher rate."

"Liv, we didn't know. You didn't know," he said, walking up next to her. "We had Huang there to keep an eye on her. She was determined to do this."

"I know," she said softly.

"We released Alex," he said, "We didn't have enough to keep him on. Casey's poking around though…looking to see if he's had other patients sue him."

"Then let's go help her," she said, standing up. With the last squeeze to Emma's hand she let go and followed her partner out of the room.

She paced in front of the board, eyes moving from the image of Emma to Alex. "Why her," she whispered to herself, "What did she ever do to deserve this?"

"He met Emma when she was nine." Her partner's voice shook her out of her thoughts. "He was a high school student..did some lawn work for her family. Police never suspected him of the murder."

"I'm betting Emma saw the whole thing," she said, turning to him. "He killed her sister and mother then tried to go for her."

"No family, so she went into hospitals…asylums. Free bed, food and security if you're poor." She rubbed her forehead, fighting off the headache. "Why didn't we see this?"

"No reason to question him," Elliot said. "C'me on. Let's go get him again." He tossed her her jacket and lead her out the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Emma stirred and blinked against the bright lights of the room. "Hey," Olivia said softly. She shot up in bed only to be pushed back down by the detective. "It's okay, Em. It's okay. Just calm down."

Emma closed her eyes, relaxing against the pillows. Olivia gently stroked her hair, calming her. "You knew it was Alex. You figured that out when you were put under by the medication." Emma nodded, tears filling her eyes.

"He killed Ellie," she whispered. "After our mom. He came over after mowing…it was hot. He asked for something to drink. I was…I had been in the pool, outside. I heard the scream and saw him through the window, holding this knife, covered in blood. He saw me, but I ran. There was this...hole under our fence. I managed to squeeze underneath. Hid in this place Ellie and our neighbor used to play in."

"And you thought hospitals were the only place you could stay safe." Emma nodded, tears falling down her face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you," she sobbed, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry." Her voice faded off as Olivia shifted onto the bed, letting Emma bury her face against her neck.

"It's okay," she said, reassuring the teen. "It's okay." She pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her close, rocking her gently. She stayed with the teen until she fell asleep and well after the visitation hours ended.

She was allowed home three days later, Olivia picking her up at the hospital. "This isn't the way to your apartment," Emma said, turning to the detective.

"You're right," she said, "We're meeting Elliot, Mo and Katie for dinner."

"Really," Emma asked, brightening up?" Olivia laughed and nodded, turning right to head towards Moon Sea, the best placed for Chinese food in Manhattan.

Emma's face broke into a smile when she saw Katie and Elliot, running forward to hug them. "Hey kiddo," Elliot said, "Glad to see they let you out." She grinned and pulled away, tucking herself in close to Olivia's side.

"Just got her out," Olivia said, hugging her close. "Thought we could all do with some dinner." They sat down at a table and ordered, Katie talking about her soccer games and Emma listening to the conversation around her. She asked all about soccer and what Katie was learning in school, interested in everything normal kids her age were interested in. Olivia watched on with a smile, talking with Elliot about his other kids and miscellaneous other things. When Emma began to yawn, they wrapped up their conversation. With a final hug Elliot watched the pair drive home.

Emma was half asleep when they arrived at Olivia's apartment. She sleepily walked up the stairs behind Olivia, leaning heavily against the wall while Olivia keyed in. "Go get ready for bed," Olivia said gently, pushing her towards the bathroom. She pulled out the bed and made it up, putting Moose on the bed. She thought idly that maybe it was time for a two bedroom. Emma walked out of the bathroom, wearing an oversized NYPD shirt, face cleaned and hair pulled back.

"You okay," Olivia asked, helping her get settled in between the sheets.

"Yeah," Emma said, "Just glad to be home." She nodded, smiling when Emma referred to her apartment as home.

"Me too," she whispered. She brushed a hand along Emma's cheek as she curled up, hugging Moose to her chest. "Get some sleep." She pressed a kiss to the girl's temple, smiling as the girl cuddled closer before dropping off to sleep. Before going to bed, Olivia grabbed the petition for guardianship papers from her bag and headed to her bedroom.


End file.
